United

"Jesus Rae, every week we come to this club, and you stand in the shadows" I can hear Chloe's every growing annoyance. "Other clubs are better Rae, but you won't even consider them, you have to tell me why you keep dragging me back here?" Chloe asks finally.  I knew it would eventually happen, she would be curious as to why we have been coming to the grottiest club in town every week for the last couple of months.  "Rae, tell me, or I am going to get Izzy and get a drink down the Swan" Chloe threatens.  

"Alright, I guess it is time for me to confess" I surrender to her questions.  

"So?" Chloe says impatiently sucking down her vodka and orange. 

"It's the DJ" I finally declare.  

"What about him?" Chloe probes screwing her nose up.  

"I know him" I continue to confess in digestible chunks.  

"Do I know him?" she says squinting at the DJ booth.  I blush, unable to answer the question.  In that moment the penny dropped for Chloe "Oh My God, it's Finn isn't it?" Chloe blurts out.   I don't move, but my silence and my lack of movement tells Chloe everything.  "So, you are telling me you are stalking Finn?" Chloe asks wanting to confirm her initial thoughts.  I nod sheepishly.  Chloe is giggling.  "So, what has it been 3... 4 years since you guys broke up and now you have resorted to stalking him every week in his place of work" Chloe summarises.  I shrug my shoulders and confirm everything Chloe has said. 

"Let me get this right, so Finn has no idea you come here every week to see him?" Chloe  continues.   I nod.  "Why wouldn't you bloody well see him Rae?" Chloe asks.  Fuck that is a good question.  

"Good question Chlo, but I don't know why" I answer looking at the floor.    "I can't not see him, but I am not sure he will be happy to see me" I announce knowing full well he will probably walk the other way if he sees me.  I mean, seriously, I rejected him.    

"Rae, just see him for fucks sake" Chloe instructs "like seriously what is the worst that happen?" 

Yeah, I have been toying with that question for the last 6 months.  I've wanted to speak to Finn, clear the air, but knowing him, seeing that he is still the fittest lad in town, I am sure he isn't single.  He could never stay single for every long.  I have tried to not put Archie in the middle of this, and Archie has been very guarded with information relating to Finn. It took me 4 months to track Finn down at this dive of a club because Archie wouldn't tell me where I could find him. 

"He could tell me to go away Chloe and I am not ready to hear those words from him.  Not yet anyways"  I try and explain.  

"You can't control that Rae" Chloe always with the voice of reason.    She is right and I know it, but I don't want to admit it yet.  

"Oh my God Chloe, have you seen him tonight?  That white singlet, him dancing to the tunes, I am gushington central" I openly admit perving at the man who once owned my heart, and if I am honest still does.  

"Jesus Rae, too much information" Chloe pulls a grossed out face and then declares "He is still so fucking fit Rae, he hasn't changed at all.  So what's the plan, more perving from the shadows?  How long are you going to be dragging me back to this place?"  

"To be honest Chlo, I don't know how long for, once finding him, I haven't really worked out what the next step would be.  I mean Archie hasn't made this any easier for me, he wouldn't tell me where Finn was working let alone whether Finn has a girlfriend" I explain while I am unable to take my eyes off Finn.  My thoughts dart back to a night in an abandoned building when the gang went to a rave.  When I dreamed of touching him, kissing him.  All of which didn't happen.  I immediate squash down the jealousy that has appeared within the pit of my stomach as I remember how I saw Finn and Chloe kissing.