United

United - Part 9

"So do you understand?" I hear Finn say.  "I want you to meet my very special friend Joshy" he continues.  This is worse than waiting for my exam results, my letter from Bristol, stalking Finn, I am waiting for Finn to try and explain to a 2 year old that I am his special friend.    What if Joshy doesn't like me?  What will Finn do? My brain is clicking over and over and over, I feel out of breathe and dizzy.   I sit down and place the palm of my hands on my thighs, close my eyes and breathe.  In, out, 1, in, out 2, in, out, 3, in.... "Rae, you ok?" I hear Finn's voice, I feel his hands on top of mine.  I slowly open my eyes. "You ok Girl?" he asks again and I fake a small smile while nodding at him.  "Girl?" he ask again.  

"Of couse" I reply softly. 

"So" he starts while rubbing my hands gently "you ready?" he asks. 

I swallow, take a deep breathe and look into Finn's eyes "of course". 

"Take a sec Girl, he is busy, you can take a sec before we go in" he says, and I breathe a little easier.  "It will be fine ok" he reassures me taking my hands.  I keep looking into his eyes, I know he can see that I am terrified, but he is trying his best to calm me down.  "Alright?" he asks.  I smile.  I stand up, and Finn squeezes my hand leading me into the sitting room. 

"Finn, please, hang on a sec" I put on the breaks.  Finn turns to me.  "What if he..." I start.

"Shhhhh Rae" he replies pulling me into his chest and talking softly in my ear.  "Of course he will love you, I love you" Finn assures me, looking me in the eye. "Comeon Rae" he says leading me into the sitting room.  This time I don't stop, I think it is time to accept my fate.  If Joshy doesn't like me, this relationship is doomed, the wedding I had conceptually planned will be a distant memory before it has even happened. "Hey Joshy mate, here is Rae" Finn introduces me.  I crouch down, I think I read somewhere if you want an animal to like you you need to get down to their level, it must work for kids right?  Internally I try to justify my actions.  Before I know it I have a 2 year old's arms wrapped around me.

"Hey" I say as I feel his hug.  I slowly wrap my arms around him and give him a gentle squeeze.  "How you doing today Joshy?" I mean "Nice to meet you Joshy" I respond.  Josh pulls away, and I watch him, he hands me his dinosaur, and says play over and over again, holding out his hand to me.  I take it and follow him.  He becomes the center of my universe in a second and we play for hours.  I had even forgotten that Finn was there, except for when he brought us a drink and snacks.  

"Hey little man, it is time for us to clean up, you mum will be here in a minute or two" Finn's voice broke our spell.   Finn joins us on the floor as we pick up the castle, the princess, the dragons, soldiers and horses.

"Thanks Daddy" I say to Finn. 

"You are welcome Rae" he says cheekily.   "So Joshy, you think Rae can come and play another day?" Finn asks. 

"Yup" he says and gives me a cuddle.

"Enough of that lad, keep picking up the toys" Finn interjects. 

Just as we had almost cleared up all the toy's we can hear the front door, someone letting themselves in again, Finn rushes to his feet and makes his way to the door. "Stacey" he says as he approaches her. 

"Finn, where is Joshy, it is time for us to" I can hear Stacey walking down the hallway, and he immediate silence when she sets sight on Joshy and I playing.  She picks up his bag and quickly shouts "Time to go Joshy" in which he instantly gets up moves to her side. 

"Bye sunshine" I say to him "Thanks for playing with me today" I continue "I hope to see you again very soon" I smile at him.  Stacey whisks him down the hallway before I could even finish my sentence.