Chapter 1

735 15 2

by schae441

by schae441

Tony walked into his workshop with 2 packs of beer bottles.

"JARVIS," he said, "keep the doors closed and don't let anyone in." Tony walked to his chair and sat down with a loud thump. He swiveled his chair and pulled up the blueprint for his next project. Tony was planning to rebuild and upgrade the toaster in the kitchen since Thor angrily smashed it when he couldn't fit more than two pop-tarts in it.

Tony sighed and cracked his knuckles as he started to work. When Tony works, nothing can bother him. All of his mind and body were focused on finishing this toaster, except once in a while he'd take a swig from the bottle of beer on the table. He 'd wait until the burn of the alcohol settled and returned to his work. It seemed like only minutes passed before JARVIS interrupted him.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting entrance." JARVIS declared.

"What did I tell you when I entered the room a few minutes ago, JARVIS? Don't let anyone in." Tony grumbled.

"You've been working for over 7 hours now." JARVIS informed him. "And Captain Rogers has been wandering outside your door for 30 minutes."

Tony checked the clock on his wall. JARVIS was right. Tony started working at 12 in the morning and now it was 7 am. He rubbed his face with his hands and wondered what Steve wanted with him now. And more importantly, how he wakes up before noon.

"Yeah, yeah. Let him in." Tony waved his hand dismissively.

The room filled with the hiss of the doors sliding open. Tony looks up at the figure walking toward him slowly. Steve fucking Rogers. Tony would be lying if he said he didn't think Steve was hot. And he means hot. He wonders how he hadn't already bent him over a table and-.

"Tony!" Steve yelled, interrupting his thoughts. "Why are there beer bottles everywhere. Don't tell me you're drunk again. Tony you can't keep doing this to yourself. The Avengers need you in your top performance in case we're ever needed. We can't have a drunk Iron Man on the field getting his butt kicked while the others risk their lives trying to protect you. Really now I--"

Oh yeah. That's why. Steve and Tony were as different as a pair of superheroes can be. Tony was a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist who just wanted to have fun. He would go to parties at night and watch TV during the day while trying to treat his hangover from the night before. His life was full of alcohol and sex and he didn't care. That's the way he liked it. Until he joined the Avengers. Now his life was just spending hours upon hours of building and inventing new weapons and fighting the occasional villain. And it was so incredibly tiring. Tony couldn't count how much money he spent on buying energy drinks and alcohol just to keep him awake long enough to work.

Steve, on the other hand, was the most righteous person Tony can think of. If Tony had a nickel everytime Steve swore, he wouldn't be known as a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Well he'd still be a genius. And let's face it, a playboy. One time, Steve came home with 50 boxes of girl scout cookies, he said he bought them all to help a little girl scout trying to win a bicycle for selling the most boxes of cookies. (Of course, the cookies were all gone the next day with the help of Steve's super soldier metabolism and Bruce Banner's never-ending appetite.) Steve would never even touch a bottle of alcohol, even though his metabolism prevents him from getting dunk anyway. This is one of the reasons he and Steve don't get along.

They didn't just not get along. No, Tony would say they hated each other. They never show it through physical harm, but whenever they talk, it would always end up in an argument. It would always end up with Tony getting hurt. It's like Steve knew which buttons to press to make Tony angry or sad (or aroused). But mostly angry. And when Tony said something that hurt Steve, Steve's sad expression makes Tony feel like he stole a little girl's ice cream cone and kicked her puppy. Tony can never win in an argument with Steve and it pisses him off.

"--to clean it up. Do you understand?" Steve finishes when Tony starts listening again.

"Yeah, okay, Cap. I was just working on a new toaster since Thor broke the other one. I needed to finish it before Thor wakes up and has a fit about not having his 'delectable Midgardian pastry containing the sweet crushed remains of a strawberry.' And although I am a genius, these things need time and concentration. And sometimes alcohol." Tony added.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. "Tony, have you not been listening to what I've been saying?" he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Tony to hear him.

Tony scoffed and said, "Of course I did! You want me to stop drinking. I'm not a fucking idiot."

Steve looked up and raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"And what."

"Maybe if you stop swimming in your damn ego for a moment, you would've heard me say that Thor already trashed the kitchen looking for a toaster to toast his pop-tarts. And since you have an ego the size of Russia and insisted you'd rather make one than buy one, everyone voted for you to clean up the mess in the kitchen."

Tony flinched slightly at the ego insult, but quickly recovered. "Why can't Thor clean it up? He's a fucking Norse god for Christ's sake, I'm sure he can clean up after himself."

"Clint took him out to get churros to calm him down. Now get on it, Stark." Steve said as he turned and headed for the door.

After hearing the doors hiss shut, Tony yelled after Steve, "I'LL SHOVE A GODDAMN CHURRO UP YOUR STAR-SPANGLED ASS YOU--"

"Sir, he can't hear you. The walls are soundproof." JARVIS explained.

Tony cursed silently at his AI and returned to his workspace, chugging another bottle of beer.

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A/N: I haven't written anything in like years. And I've never written a fanfic before. So please bear with me and help me out by giving me advice or something. And I haven't really decided on a title yet, so it might change, just to let you know. Also, I'll probably be updating one a week. I'll try to, anyway. Hope you like it. :)