I Was Counting On Forever (A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter Six

Louis' POV:

Honestly, I'm not sure how Madison is staying sane. Well, as sane as she is. She hasn't stopped crying since and she refuses to talk to anyone besides myself. But still, that's pretty good. I mean considering her circumstances. Within a month, she found out her "parents" kidnapped her and she had a different family, she met her real family, she found out her brother is an international pop star, she got married, her husband left for war, then a few weeks later, he died. She really is so strong. I'm proud to call her my sister.

Slowly, I walk to her door to bring her to the church. It's time for the funeral and I just know seeing Madison there is going to break me. Hesitantly, I open the door and look around. Madison is sitting on her bed, in her black funeral dress, looking at something, crying. I walk up and slide behind her. She's looking at a picture of her and Jason. His arms are wrapped around her waist while hers are around his neck. His eyes are closed and he is kissing her on the cheek. She's just laughing in the picture, which is something she's not doing at the moment.

"I remember this day perfectly." She says softly.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. He planned a picnic for me. We were outside on these rocks overlooking a beautiful waterfall. It was kind of our spot. I was saying how I needed a new wallpaper because the one I had was outdated. He grabbed me and took the picture himself. Then he set it as my wallpaper. I loved hte picture so much that I got it developed and put it in my wallet so I always have it with me. That was the night he proposed."

"Madison, I am so sorry."

"It's fine. Let's just go. I need to get this over with." She speaks quietly. 

We walk to my car and she gets in. We drive to the church in silence.

Madison's POV:

When we arrive, the church doors open wide and I put a veil down to cover the tears that are already freely falling. It seems as though I'm not even here. A lot of people are saying their condolences but they don't mean anything to me. I can tell that all these people would rather avoid me. It's like I'm standing in the background. As I walk to the picture of Jason I can hear everyone saying "he's not coming home now." I know he's not coming home, so I don't need all these people reminding me. 

Everyone takes a seat. The trumpets of the military band start to play. The flowers that I was previously holding, fall out of my hands and I lose it. I stare at the picture. Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever. I'll never know what would've happened. I'll never know the names of our little babies. I'll never know what we do for our anniversary. I'll never know anything, other than the fact that I love you. I can't breathe. It's like someone just sucker punched me in the stomach. If someone did and you were here, you'd stand up for me. You'd never let someone harm me. How am I supposed to go on? How am I supposed to live without you? How am I supposed to find love again after I already found and had, the most perfect man? 

This feels like some kind of sick dream. There's no way this is happening to me. It just can't be. Someone please wake me up from this horrid nightmare. 

"Let us bow our heads and pray. Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt." The preacher man says. 

Everyone stands up and starts to sing the saddest song I've ever heard. 

"Will Mrs. Jason Barnes please come up here." The preacher asks. Time for the speech that I've been dreading. 

"Hi." I speak through my tears. "When I was a little girl, I met this little boy. He was playing with the building blocks in the pre-school room and I wanted to play with the building blocks because the sandbox was too full. Although I was devastated that I could not play with the sandbox, I am so happy that it was full because I got to meet the love of my life." I start to cry even harder and I can't control it. How am I supposed to finish the speech? "We got to talking and immediately became best friends. From then on out, we were inseparable. We did everything together. Our dads used to joke that we'd grow up and fall in love. Our moms would look at each other and laugh. Jason and I would look at each other and fake throw up. We still thought that the other had cooties. Our moms would roll their eyes because secretly, they knew it too. Jason and I only got closer as the days went on. I was always dainty so he was always taller than me. Anytime I'd make fun of him he'd say he was going to beat me up. He would chase me around until he finally caught me, which did not take very long. Then he would look at me, laugh and say that he could never hurt me. We were just two kids who loved to play around. Every night, we'd go out and watch the stars. That was kind of our thing. Our moms would yell at us that it was a school night so we could really only do it on weekends. On my twelfth birthday, we sneaked out of my party. I didn't want to be there. All I wanted to do was watch the stars. We got down on the grass and looked up at the night sky. He turned on his side and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I blushed and said yes. Everyone said that us dating wasn't a good idea. They said that we'd break up and we'd ruin our friendship. We didn't mind them because we knew we had something special. One my seventeenth birthday, we had just sneaked away from my party and we were on the grass staring at the stars. It was so beautiful. He agreed but he wasn't talking about the stars because he was staring right at me. He then said 'Mads, I've known your forever. You have always been my best friend. You're my everything and I'd be nothing without you. I know this is crazy but when I turn 18, I'm signing up for the military. I need to follow in my dad's footsteps. I need to make myself worthy of you by doing something good for our country. Mads, I don't want to leave you without knowing that you'll be my best friend forever and always. WIll you marry me and be my best friend on paper as well as in my heart?' Of course I said yes because he was the love of my life. There was nothing we couldn't accomplish together. That includes finding my family. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have met my real family and if it weren't for them, my best friend, my brother's band mates, and especially my brother, I wouldn't be able to get through this. This is the hardest thing. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone because knowing that you'll never kiss the one you love, you'll never touch them, you'll never say I love you, you'll never hear them say it, you'll never celebrate anything with them, you'll never be able to see or talk to them again, is really hard. So every night, when I look up at the stars, I'll think of him and know that he is among those stars because he is my shining star, and in my eyes, he's the only star that matters. I love you Jason." I finish as I start to cry even harder. I can't control it at all anymore.

They hand me a folded up flag and I hold on to all I have left of him. We could've been something special. The guns ring one last shot and it feels like a bullet to my heart. Baby why'd you leave me to face this lonely world alone? This is just a dream. It has to be.

Louis' POV:

As Madison talks all I can do is think of Eleanor. If something happened to her, I'd be a wreck. I feel so horrible. They were something special and now they're nothing except a heartache. Poor Madison.

I watch as they hand her a folded flag. I can see her hold it for dear life. That's all she has left of him now. Why'd he have to leave her? They were so in love. I never even met the guy and I can tell. Madison's speech was so full of sadness, hurt, betrayal, and somehow, love. I guess it doesn't matter how long it's been since she's seen him, she will always love him. I just feel so badly for her. 

She looks at me with sad eyes. I stand up once the service is over and give her the world's biggest hug. I know I just met Madison but I'm already closer to her than any other member of my family. She's already one of my best friends. 

As she cries into my shoulder, my heart breaks. She was counting on forever and now she'll never know.