Sustainable

Chapter Seven

"So, what's Levi's problem?" I asked Ro, who was busy concentrating on her nails. She looked up, and shrugged at me, turning back to her nails. "I dunno," she announced, her face scrunched up in concentration. "He's always been a bit of a loner. I wouldn't look too much into it if I were you."

I leaned back in my chair. It had been about an hour since breakfast, and we were holed up in my new room painting our nails. I waved my arms about in attempt to dry the crimson nail polish and sighed. "I've never had anyone look at me so intensely before. It feels... weird." I shifted in my seat, and Ro rolled her kohl outlined eyes. "I just told you, forget about it. He's hated me since he first met me, and you know how I coped?"

I shook my head defeated, and she smiled. "I did nothing. 'Cause I didn't care." I smiled back weakly, and she began to rummage through her humungous bag of nail accessories. Pulling out a tub of sequins, stars and God knows what, she pulled my left hand towards her and began to paint a clear overcoat on it. "Amelia, you've got to realize, there's gonna be a time in your life when someone doesn't like you for some inexplicable reason." She wagged her dark eyebrows at me, and I giggled. "Despite how awesome you are, there are some crazy people out there." Using tweezers, she placed some small stars on my nails expertly. "You now live with six of them."

I smiled again, admiring my nails. Although I'd only known her a day, I'd grown closer to Rowan than to almost anyone else in my life. Looking around my room, I sighed. Ro raised her slim eyebrow at me questioningly, and sat back on my previously made bed. "What's up, Amy?" I glanced up at her, unsure how to react at her sudden use of a nickname. She grinned cheekily, and I laughed. "Yeah, I gave you a little bit of a nickname. It's a bit standard, but it's Amy for now. Or Mia. At least, until I can come up with a better one."

I chuckled, still looking around my room. "I think I can live with that. I think I prefer Amy."

"Anyway, it's just..." I sighed, not sure how to say it without sounding ungrateful. "My room. It's a little bare. I just miss my old room, I guess."

Ro sat up, and gave me a sad smile. "I'm sorry. I never thought about how hard this must've been for you. I mean, I've always been here, Em and Elliot were both away from home anyway, Carmen was already alone, and I have no idea about Levi. None of us have really known what it's like to leave a family behind."

I sniffed, not daring to look up. There was no way I was going to burst into tears right there and then. "I feel bad. It's just only now that I've started to slow down and think about what I've left behind. My dad, my step-mom, my brother... and I feel bad that it's only now that I started to think about them. Does that make me a bad person?" I looked up at Ro, who had tears in her hazel eyes. I sat, stunned at her reaction. "Ro," I began, and she held up a perfectly manicured hand. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine." She sniffed, wiping away the tears. I handed her a tissue from my drawer, and she dabbed at her eyes, careful not to disturb her make up. "I have no idea why I cried like that. Really. I don't know what came over me." She smiled, and laughed half-heartedly. "I'm okay." She looked at me, with my raised brow. "Honest."

"I don't know how I'm going to do it, Ro." I shook my head, and grabbed my sketchpad. Flipping open the pages, I found a blank one and started to doodle. Rowan stared at my pencil, watching each line with curious fascination. "If you could just forget about them, would you?"

I looked at Rowan in surprise, unsure of what she was saying. "If it meant that I didn't feel bad anymore, then yes. But, I have so many memories of them. I can't just ignore that. I miss them, but I don't want to forget them. Ever." She nodded in acceptance, and held her breath.

"Is it the idea that your family miss you that upsets you?"

I nodded, holding in my tears.

"Then I have an idea."