PANACEA-Book One-By Hell or High Water

12. Ashes, ashes

That wasn't the last time we tried to force our way out. I think I tried the most out of the three of us. If anyone was the cause of this, it was me. Obviously it was me. If getting us out meant banging my head on the cellar door (which, rest assured, I did many times) I would do it.

It was difficult to keep track of time. We couldn't see the sun, and it wasn't like there were any clocks. Not that I had any idea how to tell time. I wasn't tired yet, so I assumed it couldn't have been night yet. Then again, I hadn't exactly felt tired at all these past few days.

I laid myself down in front of our third fire. It was slowly dying, but I didn't bother Edmund who stayed asleep on the other side. I definitely didn't know how to light one, and Hero hadn't tried to yet, so I didn't know. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask, either.

Hero was beside Edmund, staring at the slowly fading embers. He didn't look to need rest either, which I was thankful for. The company was nice, even if he didn't talk.

Until he did, rather.

"I wonder who Pip was talking about," he said. The small girl had completely slipped my mind, and I almost didn't know what he was talking about. Then I remembered. The tall woman Corbin had been down to the village with. At least, according to Ruby.

"Me too," I replied. "You don't think maybe that was true? Corbin denied it but he also denied recognizing the place from my vision, and the rod we found in the lake." I realized how that must have sounded. "Not that I can prove he did...recognize those things."

Hero's eyes didn't so much as twitch. "I think he must. Something is wrong."

I was relieved by that response. "He doesn't hide things from you, does he?"

"He probably does. I just...have a hard time imagining him knowing anything about what you are and the things you see." His eyes met mine quickly. "You're just so weird and unnatural." They widened and he opened his mouth so it hung open. "That was rude, I'm sorry."

I wasn't sure how I should be offended by that. "That's fine."

He gave me a thoughtful look. "Do you promise those things are true? Do you really see her?"

"I promise," I replied.

"I guess I don't think about her much, you know. She was always just a historical figure. She made this world and everything here of course but...for a long time she did nothing I guess." Hero hugged his knees to his chest. "I even believed her to have left to fulfill some other purpose. But she's still....present." He stared at the embers once more, like he was seeing something in them. "And she made you. You're new and clearly something special."

"And she's in trouble," I added bitterly. "And I don't know what to do, she can't help me, and now we're stuck...here."

Hero cocked his head to one side, almost pressing his ear on his knee. "Well she made you, didn't she. She can do some things."

"She can't do enough."

"Isn't that why she had you come into the world?"

That wasn't a pleasant reminder. She needed my help, and I was talking about her not helping me enough. "I guess I just need to do things myself. But I can't think of anything."

Hero shrugged. "Maybe Corbin is going to let us out."

"He's taking his time with that."

"I don't know," Hero said as he laid himself down. I must not have been making very cheerful conversation. Before I could try to apologize, he began to talk again. "He'll explain everything, I'm positive. He has to." With that, he left me alone in the dying light.

.....

I was now sure that days had to have passed.

My eyes were heavy, my heart felt like it was hanging by a single string, I yawned every second it seemed, and I had lost track of how many fires had been lit. I hadn't allowed myself to shut my eyes. If it were my choice, I wouldn't allow myself to blink either.

Hero didn't seem exactly himself. Did I really even know what his self was like, though? That wasn't really something I could determine myself. Edmund seemed worried by his behavior, which could be reason enough for me to be concerned as well. If there was anything I knew about Hero, it was that he didn't sleep for long hours, and he didn't ignore Edmund by pretending he was asleep when he wasn't. For long hours he wouldn't speak to us, even if he was 'awake'. I was sure it couldn't be something Edmund or I had done. Hero must have just been thinking a lot. I know I did that a lot too.

I stared into the narrow opening of the flask I had filled from the water tank. With the fire just having been lit, I wasn't completely in the dark at the moment. Seeing no reason to go back over to the middle of the room, I sat myself against the cold metal. It was too dark to see inside the flask at all, giving me no way to receive any sort of vision from the Mistress. I took a sip of the water, and looked over to the dripping faucet. A small puddle collected on the floor, giving me a nice look at my face. I squinted into it, seeing it began to ripple. The room around me blurred and seemed to distance itself from my eyes.

A voice slid past my ears. "Maybe we should just burn it."

Everything came into focus, and I saw Hero turned so he was staring up at the ceiling. He was drumming his fingers on the hard floor. Edmund stopped in front of the fire, having just brought more wood over and looked up at Hero.

"We can't burn the door. The entire building above it would burn to the ground. The ceiling above may even fall on us."

Hero turned his head towards us. "Burn the door and whatevers on top of it will fall through and break it. Then we get out."

Edmund sighed. "Hero, I--"

"I'm just thinking if we need to be helping Corbin in whatever situation he may be in, we should get out of here quickly."

Edmund's face softened. "I don't think it's worth killing ourselves over to get out of here. We aren't on a time constraint."

"So you'd rather stay here until we're at the point where we might starve?" Hero replied harshly. He sat up, eyes flitting around the room.

Edmund's own eyes swept around. It was true that such a point wouldn't come for a long time. Looking around at the rows of shelves stocked with jars, herbs, nuts, and baskets of dried fruit and meat, it was hard to imagine ever going hungry. I couldn't stay though. There were things I needed to set straight, and something told me Corbin was a little more aware of than he made evident. As far as the things I needed to get straight went, he was one of the first.

"You're right," Edmund replied. "I'm still not entirely for the idea of burning this place down."

"We can put it out," Hero insisted. "We'll be quick."

Edmund gave me a pleading look, wanting another opinion shared. "Well?"

"I want to leave," I replied. I didn't exactly agree with the fact that Corbin could be in trouble and needed to be saved, but I agreed with leaving entirely.

"Then we should leave," Hero said back.

Edmund still didn't seem settled with the idea. "For all we know someone's coming to get us out this moment."

"Ed, you could be saying that to yourself for the next year."

Edmund sighed heavily. "So you just want to burn the door off above us?"

"That's what I've been saying, yes," Hero said as he got himself up. "We just need to stay out of the way."

Edmund retrieved a long strip of wood from the pile. "We would have run out of firewood to light this room up anyways, I suppose," he said as he dipped the tip into the licking flames.