Jude looked across at the table to at Edith's face which was stark against the fluorescents at Waffle House. If you looked at all of her, instead of just her face, she was even paler due to her blonde curls, which at the moment was falling out of a half hazard bun. This whole moment was very surreal for Jude. After Edith had showed up at his apartment, they had sat in her car as he explained the whole situation in between shakes and blurry tears running down his face. Edith had held his hand the entire time her eyes open and deep blue. Her eyes are what he had focused on, they had washed him away from the shore taking him deeper into himself and admit things he had never admitted to even himself. He felt safe around her and he could not explain why.
"Do you like grits?"
Jude was pulled out of his thoughts and saw that Edith was staring at him, apparently she had asked this question more than once and he had only continued to stare at her.
He looked down at the menu feeling the redness crawl up his neck
"I'm not sure. Do you like grits?" He glanced back up at her trying to ignore the pounding of his heart and the redness that had now crawled to his cheeks.
Edith glanced back down at the menu, "They're alright I think... I had a boyfriend in high school who was aghast that I had never eaten grits and so every time I went to his house his parents made cheese grits. I can't think about grits without thinking about him. I also think about the book 'The Secret Life of Bee's' did you read that in high school?" Edith laid the laminated menu on the sticky table and rested her chin on her hands.
"Secret Life of Bee's? No I've never even heard of it." Jude recalled and then remembered it was probably because he had never read any of the assigned books they asked him to read in high school. Back then he always said it was because he lost motivation once someone told him that it was required to read. Now he knew it was attributed to laziness, lack of motivation, lack of caring, and his attitude had reflected back on his grades.
"Well if you get the chance I think you should read it." Edith took a sip of her water and thrummed her fingers on the sticky table. Mess didn't bother her like it bothered Jude. "I've got an idea." She said, "How about we practice your presentation. I'll wake up my floor and we'll give you an even bigger audience than what you'll have to deal with in the classroom."
Jude sat back and crossed his arms over his chest giving the idea a once over then said, "You really think that it would be a good idea to wake up a floor of the freshman dorm full of girls, most of whom take the same gen ed's as we do, probably have the same presentation tomorrow, when it's four in the morning, and ask them to sit and listen to a dork like me?" He raised his eyebrows at her as if to challenge her to argue with him.
Edith paused her finger drumming and sighed, "Okay you might have a point there. But the least you can do is practice for me or we can find something to desensitize you before you go up. Like deep breaths and meditation. Have you tried meditating before hand?" She leaned forward on the table as if she'd get a more honest answer the closer she was.
Jude looked down at his hands, "I'm usually too panicked to do anything but fight through my tunneling vision." he explained
"I used to get very sick right before my races, it was the nerves and adrenaline that I had no control over. My coach taught me a breathing exercise suggested by a psychiatrist and I haven't thrown up before a race since middle school." Edith had lowered her voice to a whisper as she noticed the waitress coming towards them. Once the waitress was at the end of the table she immediately sat up giving the women her biggest, cheesiest smile.
While Edith told the lady what she wanted Jude quickly scanned the menu and picked the third thing on the menu while his mind scrambled with the idea that a simple breathing exercise could calm his hard fighting panic attacks.
