Randomness

My Little Pony

This one is kind of long. I hope you like it! (I wrote it during Math... I think you can guess what my grades are like...)

So... my friends are currently staring at me like I lost all my braincells. Ha, jokes on them! I never had any braincells, so FUDGE YOU!

Okay, allow me to explain. Most of the time, I am a very quiet and almost painfully shy girl. I never speak my mind and just agree with whatever everyone else says, too scared to make someone angry. Bluntly put, I'm BORING. Well... at least on the outside. On the inside, you know in my mind, I'm insane. If I were to act on all the thoughts that run through my head, I would've been behind bars a long time ago for disturbing public order. I guess I'm lucky that on most days my filter makes sure I shut up.

So, why are my friends looking at me like that, you ask? Well, you see, today my filter just so happened to be on vacation. BAHAMA'S BITCHES! So, right now I'm just thinking: ''Fudge everyone! I'm going to say whatever I want and NO ONE IS GONNA STOP ME! NOT EVEN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE! Is there a president of the universe? Do I really care if there is? NO, I DO NOT!

Which proceeded into me starting to randomly sing the theme song from My Little Pony (which I totally don't watch, cause I'm really mature and stuff), yelling ''Ice Cream is THE BOM'' loudly through a packed cafeteria and starting a conversation with my friends about how chocolate will save the world someday.

Which brings us back to the point of were my story began, with me still rambling about chocolate and it's super powers.

'...and that is how chocolate will save the world.' I finish my explanation. As I open my eyes, cause my genialness is just that intense, and look at my friends, I finds them staring at me with their mouths hanging open like they are seeing me for the first time, which they kind of are. Oh well, who cares. THIS IS ME BITCHES! Oh no, I shouldn't curse. From now on, I'm gonna change Bitches into Turtles. Yeah, that sounds good. I'm so smart.

Finally, after what feels like FOR-E-VER, Katie pulls herself together and asks: 'Okay, Amber. Did you hit your head or something?'

I put my pointer finger on my chin and start thinking really hard.

'Well, yesterday, my face really wanted to kiss the floor, so my couch thought he would help my face out... or she thought I'll help her face out. I don't know. Is a couch a he or a she. Cause, if it's a he, I would definitely marry my couch. I'm practically living on it already, after all. I mean, he's comfy and soft and I sleep with him aaaaallll the time.

But, if it's a she, I would really need to thank her for letting me sit there all the time. I need to buy a friendship bracelet, to let her know we are best friends and we could talk and watch movies together and eat popcorn and ICE CREAM and all that stuff you do with best friends.

Ooh, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, so the couch tripped me and I landed on the floor, but my face could finally kiss the floor so my face was happy, so I was happy and... yeah. Don't I have a nice couch?'

Ending my little flashback to yesterday, I look towards my friends again and see them staring at me. Again.

'Don't you mean, sleep on it instead of sleep with it?' I hear someone ask behind. As I turn around, about to answer his question, his friend pokes him in the ribs and they both turn back to their own table. Well, rude....

I turn my attention back to my friends. Their mouths are still hanging open while they look at me like I've lost my mind. They're gonna catch flies this way. OH NO! What if they die, because a fly flies ( haha, fly flies. NO FOCUS) into their mouths and starts dancing which causes them to not be able to breath, cause the fly is to enthusiastic and gets stuck in their windpipe. NOOOOO

'NO, don't die! You guys are my best friends, after the maybe female couch!' I yell, startling not only them, but also some people sitting at the tables around us. They throw weird glances our way, but I'm too busy trying to close everyone's mouth to pay them any attention. THEY CAN'T DIE CAUSE OF THE DANCING FLY!

''Amber, you haven't smoked pod or something, right?' Logan asks, looking slightly concerned and a little amused.

I turn my attention on him and say; 'No, I just don't want you guys to die cause of the dancing fly. Hey, that rimes.'

For a few seconds, everyone is quiet. Then, they all burst out laughing. Leonie even falls out of her chair while clutching her stomach. I look at them, confused about what is so funny about dying duo to a dancing fly. ''I don't get it.''

After some time of them trying to catch their breaths and me thinking up random ice cream flavors (I might have a problem focusing on things, so I may have forgotten about the dancing fly and my friends dying... I'm perfectly normal. Don't judge), they have calmed down enough to talk again.

Still lightly chuckling, Marcus asks; 'Did you lose your brain or something?'

'No, I just left it in the fridge today. Didn't feel like taking it with me. Why?' I say and ask.

'Cause if you need it back, for my sake. If the day goes on like this, I'll be dead before the end of school thanks to oxygen loss from all the laughing.' Leonie says.

I look at all my friends and one thing goes through my mind as I register what Leonie said.

'Well, that's better than dying thanks to a dancing fly. That would be such a weird police report...' I say, well thinking of how I would have to explain to the police how my friends died thanks to a really enthusiastic dancing fly. They would put me in a mental hospital... I'd rather go to jail than.

Our table burst out in laughter, again. We are really getting a lot of strange looks, but no one's paying attention to it. Though, if my friends keep this up, they really ARE going to die today. That's not good. I need to do something.

Suddenly Elizabeth, or Liz as she likes to be called, popped up next to our table. 'What did I miss?' she asks, while looking at the slightly out of breath members of our table.

'So...much!' Katie grasps out between laughter.

'Dancing...fly! Us...dying!' Marcus adds.

Liz looks at the group, her face showing that she's both amused and confused (that rimes too! NO AMBER! FOCUS DAMMIT) What does everyone find so funny about dying? If someone dies, we will have to organize a funeral, which is very expensive. And I'm not paying for it!

I will also have to say something in a really depressing atmosphere. I'm not good at that. Then, I will have to tell everyone about how awesome everyone's life was with me in it. I'll probably tell them about the time we all got drunk and ran through the streets at night, yelling that batman is awesome.

Then people will clap and agree, cause he is, and then everyone will laugh, which resorts in a funeral where everyone is laughing and that can't happen! That was supposed to happen at MY funeral! I'm pretty sure I will die first out of all of us by a flying penguin in a suit with a balloon in its paw, after all. Don't judge. The turtle in a clown suit was already taken. Stupid Jess...

'Okay Amber, what is this about a dancing fly and people dying?' Liz asks.

'I was just saying that if they kept laughing, a fly would fly into their throat, start dancing and get stuck because he got to enthusiastic.' I explain to Liz.

She looks at my straight face, like I would drop it any second and tell her I was joking. Well... I'm not. When she finally seems to get that, she too bursts out laughing. Well... I'm not sure what to think of this. I'll just sing the theme song from My Little Pony again.

Yeah... I don't have an explanation for this. My mind is weird...