Let me cry

A Year?

I just realised this book is over a year old at this point, started it in October 2015.
I remember when it got a hundred reads and I was so excited, it's now at 13k.I remember reading book with 6k and I was like, 'Oh my gosh, there book is so popular how do I do that with mine?'
I remember getting excited every time I got a comment.
I remember when I was so excited to write about this stuff.
Right now I don't really feel excited, I feel sorta empty. It's like when it takes you a second to realise it's all gone, like a break up or a death of a someone you weren't close with, it takes you maybe half a year to realise, you can never have those happy memories again, you just feel empty.
I don't know why. I wish I knew why, but I don't, I have no clue how a book so terrible & poorly written could make me feel so sad.

Memories always make me sad, I remember when I left primary school, when I was in p7, going to after school club when I was seven, my old friends, when I used to spend every second weekend with my dad (,) now I'm lucky to see him once every two months, when my dog was a puppy, when I was happy and I cry. I can't go back in time, and it hurts more than anything in this world, maybe it's just growing up.

I never thought I had to realise that I couldn't go back in time, I thought it was obvious you can't, which is true, but it just suddenly slaps you in the face.
Now it's four in the morning and I'm sitting here in my room sobbing over something I can't change.

I can never go back in time.

I can never have these memories again.

Happy New Year.
Make memories.

Love from Lucas.