Stop It

Chapter Three

"Hey," I muttered, holding my phone up to my ear, "Nothing really, just going out for a walk. You?" It had been awhile since Felix and I talked, so it was nice to hear his voice again.

"I'm watching this really funny guy on YouTube right now," I could hear the smile in his voice, "Ever heard of Jacksepticeye?" I wracked my brain, trying to remember if I've ever hear of the guy.

"I'm sure I've seen the name somewhere. Is he good?" I asked.

"Hilarious. He's super loud though, but who isn't loud on YouTube these days?" I nodded.

"I'll look him up when I get back home." I continued to walk, nearly bumping into someone, but apologizing right after. Felix continued to blabber on and on about this Jacksepticguy, but I was lost in my own world. Everything was black and quiet. I'd been here before, plenty of times. This is where Anxiety lives. He hides in the dark and attacks out of nowhere sometimes. His large, gaping mouth drips black goo, and his huge, claw-like fingers try to grab me by my neck and strangle me. But I don't let him. I take a deep breath.

In.

Out.

In.

Out...

"Mark?" Felix's voice chimed in my ear, "Fish back!" I jumped at his sudden out burst, but laughed at the nickname.

"Yes, jelly burger?" Felix snickered and asked if I was alright, "Yeah. My anxiety was creeping up on me, but I'm fine, thanks."

"Alright. Well, Marzia and I are going out for a bit, I'll talk to you later, Mark! Bye." I told Felix goodbye and hung up. I already missed his company, but pushed the feeling of loneliness aside and continued my walk.

My feet began to hurt after thirty minutes and I decided to just walk back home and rest for a while. Maybe I could just record another video or something, maybe watch that Jacksepticguy Felix was going on about. I ended up watching him. He was really funny and loud and the way he smile and laughed cheered me up a little more each time.

I logged into Twitter once the video was over.

Shoutout to @Jacksepticeye for making my day better! :)

I closed the tab later, but soon after, I got private message from someone. It was Jack. All he said was: "Hey! I'm a big fan, thanks for the shoutout, Mark!! :D" This simple message made me smile. It was a big smile; one that hurt my cheeks.

I quickly answered him, and after that we had a very long and friendly conversation with each other.
*
We agreed to be best friends after a few days and would do a collab with one another.

We were on the phone, he was talking about how much he loved my content and he told me how deserving I was of everything I have. I teared up a bit, but he never knew.

"I really like you." I told him. He didn't hear me though because I only said it above a whisper. I didn't try telling him again because I thought I should wait until he felt the same about me.

"You're quieter than you are in your videos," He chuckled softly, "Is it all an act, Mark?" I chuckled and shook my head. It was an act, but only sometimes. Sometimes, I was genuinely happy in my videos, but it's very rare, that.

"No," I lied. Sean hummed softly in response.

"It's late," He yawned, moving around, probably to get under his covers. My heart sank a little. I didn't want to hang up on him.

"Oh, do you want to go sleep?" I asked gently.

"Yeah." My heart sank deeper.

"Can I go to sleep with you?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, shifting around some more.

I bit my lip gently, "Like, can I keep you on the phone and go to sleep with you..." I was scared of his response, so I bit my lip harder.

"Ooooh. Er, sure? Isn't that what couples in a long distance relationship do?" An uncomfortable laugh escapes his lips. I sighed softly and tears brimmed my eyes. I knew I would ruin this. I ruin everything..

"If you feel uncomfortable, we don't have to..."

"No, no! It's okay, we can. Sorry if it seemed that way." I wiped my eyes and lay down, sniffling.

"Goodnight, Sean." I muttered a few minutes later.

He shifted again.

"I love you."