Chasing Your Shadow (a sequel to Ezra Lost)

Chapter 1

Happy new year, everyone! And yes... this IS the sequel you've been looking for!!

1

EZRA BRIDGER closed his sapphire blue eyes.

He drew a shaky breath in.

He breathed out.

With his eyes closed, all he could see was darkness.

The darkness...

Ezra suddenly tried to swallow, but he couldn't. And he couldn't breathe. He was suffocating, drowning in the bloodfreezing, eternal darkness-

"Ezra!"

Strong hands shook Ezra violently by the shoulders in an attempt to rip him free of his half-waking nightmare. Ezra's eyelids flew open and he uncontrollably threw himself at his master, gasping desperately. There was no air. Ezra was sinking, sinking-

"Kanan!" the teenage boy screamed, thrashing and flailing wildly as Kanan shouted and struggled to grab hold of him. But it wasn't Kanan - it was the Inquisitor! The Pau'an's fangs were bared into a gruesome, yellow-stained sneer as he quickly overpowered Ezra, beginning to drag him away to the torture chamber all over again-

Kanan Jarrus slammed into Ezra, forcefully pinning his terrified Padawan against the floor. "EZRA! Come back to me!" he ordered fiercely. "Come back to me RIGHT NOW!"

Nothing, nothing at all in the galaxy hurt Kanan more than this, and it happened every time Ezra tried to meditate. Having to wrestle the kid while he was screeching and crying and trying to fight Kanan, as though Kanan was some sort of horrible Imperial - it was a lightsaber through the heart.

Ezra slowly ceased to thrash beneath Kanan's hands. Both of their chests were heaving as they stared into each other's faces. Ezra was trembling so hard he almost could have shaken himself to death, and his skin was frigid to the touch.

"Ezra," Kanan said softly. "It's all right. Everything you see right now is all over." His voice caught in his throat. "None of it is real anymore."

I did this to him.

Ezra's panting began to die down as his eyes gradually cleared. He gazed up at Kanan for a moment longer; then a shadow passed over his suntanned face and he looked away, realizing what had happened.

"I'm sorry," he whispered faintly.

Kanan's tourmaline eyes widened. "Ezra..." He got off of his Padawan and reached down towards him with an expression of torment. "It's not your fault."

Ezra did not take Kanan's hand. "I-I feel so terrible," he choked out, tears slipping over his cheekbones. "Y-You're all trying so hard - to help me -" Kanan stared down at the boy in sheer horror as Ezra's emotions came spilling out of him. "And you all have to deal with this-"

Kanan abruptly dropped to his knees and sternly pressed his fingers over Ezra's lips. The Jedi glared ferociously into his Padawan's eyes. Ezra stared back in shock.

"I never want to hear you say anything like that ever again," Kanan growled. "It's not true. None of it is true, all the thoughts running through your head right now!" The man's voice steadily rose. "I can't stand hearing you blame yourself, Ezra. Nothing that happened was your fault." The tears came dripping down. "It's all MINE!"

Ezra looked up at his master and all he could see was anguish. So much self-blame and self-hatred...

The shocked teenager removed Kanan's hand and slowly sat up.

"Kanan," he said numbly. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't-"

Suddenly, the door to Kanan's room popped open. Hera Syndulla stood in its place. Her emerald eyes flicked over the situation rapidly and her face fell.

"Oh," Ezra exclaimed, striving to recover as quickly as he could, at least on the outside. "Hi, Hera."

Hera bit her lip, regarding them both with a sorrowful gaze. "It... happened again..."

Ezra wiped his face shamefully and rose. "I... I'm all right, Hera." He tried to smile at her.

Kanan was silent, his head lowered and back to their captain.

"I'm sorry to intrude, you two," Hera apologized, struggling to sound chipper and act as though nothing horrid had just happened. "I-I was just hoping that you could run out to the market for me." She attempted to muster up a smile in return for Ezra's, but her heart was broken and the shards were crumbling apart. "But I can send Zeb instead if you'd rather not go."

"No, Hera, it's fine!" Ezra assured her. "We'd love to go! It'll be great - right, Kanan?" He glanced down at his master hopefully.

Kanan quickly terminated all evidence of his guilt with a wiping of his sleeve and stood up, then turned to force a smile at Hera and Ezra. "Of course. The fresh air will do us both good."

He looked at Hera and faltered. She was staring coldly through his façade and into his soul. Kanan suddenly, mildly wondered if she could read his very mind and knew about all the naughty things he tended to think around her.

Hera curtly stepped forward and handed Kanan a shopping list. "And don't you dare think about skipping on the meilooruns," she warned him. Kanan caught the tiny smirk that appeared on her face.

"Yes, ma'am, all right, ma'am, thank you, ma'am," Kanan said meekly. That earned him a slight whack on the head. He grinned widely at Hera as Ezra sniggered behind him. It was worth it!

"Get out of here," Hera ordered loudly, struggling to stifle her own laughter. She stood aside and pointed sternly at the open doorway.

Kanan slowly walked out with his head hanging low. Ezra was then exploding with giggles as he scrambled after his master.

Hera rolled her eyes, then walked out to go down the opposite hall, the door hissing shut behind her. She knew he was being a goofball for Ezra's sake, but then again, she also knew that he would most certainly be a goofball anyway.

***

Alright, so today, on the beginning of this wonderful new year, I have posted the beginning of the sequel to Ezra Lost! I hope you enjoy. I have 23 chapters of it already, but I'm stuck after that. >.< So please, hammer me with all of your ideas!!

I've also recently put up my first Clone Wars fanfic, Bane of My Existence. I hope you check it out and enjoy it -- if you're into the Clone Wars TV series and you like the character Cad Bane, than it may just be the story for you!