Loveless Passion

Prologue

Prologue:

    Heartless I guess but…. I’m the type of guy that didn’t think about love. I didn’t care about it. I never thought I would find it. But that all changed.

     April 15th 2013 I was 22 years old. I was in college. I got in with a full-ride football scholarship. I’ve always been the type of guy who felt like I had to prove my manliness. Wear ugly workout clothes all the time like all the other manly kids. I wanted to dress nice. I wanted to wear stylish clothing. But if I did I would be called gay. And it’s not that I have a problem with gay people, it’s that I felt I had to be manly. Being gay was, I presume, not manly.

     But what is being manly anyways? Not giving a crap about anyone. Well, I’d have a hard time with that because I love my grandma more than anyone and anything. I was raised in a household where you spoke your thoughts and feelings. I lived with my mom and my grandma. They were always there for me and they taught me how to be respectful and independent. I live in an apartment alone. Though it is next to my mom and grandma’s house.

     I go and visit them everyday to make sure they are doing okay. My grandma is only 60 and my mom is only 38. She had me at the age of 18 and my dad left her when he found out she was pregnant. My mom was destroyed but my grandma took her in and kept me while my mom was at school. She finished college and got her PhD. She became a college professor so that she could have a relaxing job. My grandma stayed at home and painted.

     I was on my way to my mom and grandma’s house when I heard my grandma singing. I walked inside with a smile plastered on my face. I loved when my grandma sung. She had the most beautiful voice. It was soft but not so soft that it’s breathy. She was singing louder than usual.

 “Why are you singing so loud grammy?” I tried to make my tone happy. I didn’t want to upset her. She takes things to heart very quickly so I had to use my happy voice when I was with her. It was fine with me.

 “Oh am I precious? I’m sorry; I was so engrossed in my latest work I didn’t even notice I was singing. She stepped to the side to reveal her most recent painting. It was absolutely beautiful. It was a field of every kind of flower possible. Pinks, purples, blues, whites, yellows, oranges. The field was a perspective drawing so it looked almost 3D. There was a tree father into the field. A great big Oak tree with old looking wood and beautiful leaves. A single wooden swing held too one of the tree’s branches by a rope was hanging beside the tree.

 “It’s beautiful grammy. Just like you.” I smiled at her brightly.

 “Why thank you mister. Your not that bad yourself.” She laughed. I loved making my grandma laugh. It just made me so happy to know that she was happy. The way her bright green eyes crinkled slightly at the edges. And her bright white teeth turned into a smile on her face. Making her happy just made me feel like I couldn’t possibly do any wrong.  Grandma had been through a lot just so that my mom could have a good life. Her and her husband, my grandpa, had fallen in love when they were 3. Or at least they knew each other since then. They wanted to get married right away so they went to elope when they graduated high school. They lived together and my grandma sang and painted while my grandpa worked at a factory in the city. They decided to live in the countryside. In a big beautiful farmhouse so that their kids could be free.

     One day my grandpa was rushing home from work to give my grandma a present he had found. He was always doing cute stuff like that. My grandma was excited to tell him about the baby girl that was on the way. While driving through a rough part of the city he saw a women who looked like she was struggling. He stopped his car and got out to help her. She was carrying a bunch of groceries and a man was trying to get her to go with him. She was saying no over and over. My grandpa walked over and told the guy to leave her alone. He left and she was left alone. While my grandpa was getting into his car the man came back and stabbed my grandpa in the chest. He drove just 5 minutes to him and my grandmas’ house and rushed inside when he got there.

     She walked out only to see him collapse on the floor. She helped him onto the couch and he told her that there was no use wasting her energy to save him. He told her that he would never stop loving her. She cried in his arms and fell asleep. When she woke up he was gone. Checking his pulse she did her best to carry him out to their backfield. She laid him in the flowers and covered him with them. Crying the entire time. People in the town would shun her and accuse her of killing her own husband.

     She didn’t want my mom to grow up in that environment. She moved from their house and bought another one far away. She never forgot my grandpa. She always tells me that I look so much like him. The house they live in now is the same one they’ve lived in since my mom was born.

     I’ve always felt like my grandma didn’t deserve what happened to her. But she told me that everything happens for a reason. And I trust her with all of my heart. Maybe everything does happen for a reason.