Guys BEWARE!!!
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You must be 69 years of age or older to read this.
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WARNING: There WILL be body parts! And sexual content. So children: DO NOT READ! BEWARE!
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Caution: Calum Hood.
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And now the story begins.....
It was a cold, wintery day in Paris, France. You and your boyfriend Calum had decided to go on a romantic holiday to escape the Australian summer. Right now, you were in the bedroom, waiting for Calum to get back from the supermarket. He said that he was going to get you guys some food for the hotel, and you wanted to surprise him when he got back. So there you laid seductively on the bed, wearing nothing but your grandpa's stained up secondhand undies. You knew for sure that he could easily be seduced by your choice in attire. All of a sudden, you hear the door slam.
"Honey, I'm back!" Calum shouted. You grinned evilly, strutting out into the main room seductively. Calum dropped the bags, in awe of you.
"Well well, what do we have here?" Calum asked, turning pink at the cheeks.
"Follow me" you growled, dragging him to the bed. You start ravenously ripping off his shirt, revealing his golden abs. When you go to reach for his pants zipper, he immediately stops you.
"We really shouldn't..." He says. You can feel yourself getting more and more angry by the second. You had waited four years for this moment, but each time you tried, he always panicked and stopped you. This was the straw that broke the camels back.
"CALUM! I'VE WAITED FOUR YEARS FOR THIS AND EACH TIME I TRY TO AROUSE YOU, YOU STOP ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? CAN YOU NOT RE-CREATE THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN PLEASE!?" You screamed. Suddenly, your heart sunk. "It's because you don't love me... isn't it?" You asked. A tear trickled down your cheek, followed by a loud sob.
"Sweetie, it's not like that.. It's just... You wouldn't understand... Okay, I'm sorry. I love you so much. Here, we'll do it right now, ok?" Calum reassured. He began unzipping his skin-tight jeans. Just as he started pulling his pants below his knees, he whispered softly to his genitals "You better be good." Huh? What the hell? Taking off his undies, he began to unleash his willy worm thang. Instead of being pleasantly surprised, you were horrifyingly shocked. Instead of having one willy, he had THREE! It was like that three-headed dog on Harry freaking Potter. That wasn't the weirdest part. No. The part that was scary was THE MOUTHS ON HIS WILLY WITH SHARP TEETH AND TONGUES! You began to hysterically wail as you ran for the nearest exit. You tried to grab for the door handle, but to your surprise Calum's middle willy stretched to over 50 metres long like something you would see in the Incredibles and IT LOCKED THE DOOR. The other two blocked the windows so you couldn't get out. They had a life of their own. You fell on the floor, wailing for help. Suddenly, Calum's middle willy, (the leader of the pack) floated over to you like the caterpillar on Alice in wonderland. It licked it's sharp teeth with it's pointy tongue, and to your surprise, IT STARTED SINGING A MASHUP OF BLINK FUCKING 182 SONGS. The other two dicky wickys began belly dancing to the music, which soon turned into a horrible mosh pit. Out of no where, Calum's dicks multiplied from 3 to 3,000! They took over the whole room and sucked up all the air. Boom. You were gone within an instant.
The end. <3
I hope yal'l enjoyed my story guyssss ;)
