My One And Only [ Niall Horan Fan Fiction ]

40. I'm Sorry

Chapter

Liyah's POV 

It's been like 2 days since Cadey's funeral and I'm trying to be strong, but I'm a mess.

I've been in my room living under my blankets, binge watching Gossip Girl, and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I finished all 6 seasons in 2 days. Niall's been here but I've been avoiding him.

"How are you?" He asked taking me into his arms. "Uh I'm okay." I put on a the best fake smile I can.

"I know you're lying." Dang. "I've definitely been better." I look in his eyes trying to hold back the tears.

"How's Hazza?" I ask. I'm honestly just trying to get the subject off of me. "Taking it pretty hard as you can imagine." He says and I just nod.

[From: Unknown 10:30] What are you gonna do?

[From: Unknown 11:00] Today's the day!!

[From: Unknown 12:04] Choose wisely my love.

[From: Unknown 1:00] Time is running out.

[From: Unknown 2:30] I'll be waiting..xx

All morning I've been getting these texts and all morning I've been arguing with myself.

My heart says stay but my mind says go. People say follow your heart but if I do the people I love will be in danger.

If I lose another one of them I will literally kill myself. I could not go on knowing I'm responsible for it.

I know what I have to do but I don't know if I'm ready to face the consequences.

"What's wrong?" Niall ask me. Come on Liyah, come up with a lie. "Uh...nothing, just thinking." I answer. Of course he doesn't stop there. Nosey. "About what?" He asks. "Just about memories with Cadence." I say. He nods satisfied with my answer.

******************************************************

Hours have gone by and my phone is still being blown up.

GAHHHHH!! I don't know what to do. Niall walks in with chinese and I smile giving him my thanks. After eating I go back up to my room to cry.

My thoughts take over making me a very emotional person. Why did I have to be in this position? Why couldn't I just be happy?

I was happy. I had finally gotten over the death of my baby and everything was great. I was doing just fine. Everything was perfect.

But because it was me, life couldn't stay that way. Something just had to go wrong. It wouldn't be a Liyah Codwell life if something so f'd up didn't happened.

I didn't even realize tears are streaming down my face. I have so much anger, aggression and sadness built up inside. I'm tired of holding it in. I need to let it out.......and I do.

I start screaming. Screaming at the top of my lungs. Sucking in all the air my body can hold so I can release it in ear piercing sounds.

I scream until my throat hurts. I scream until my voice cracks. I scream until my chest shakes. I scream until my picture frame glass cracks. I scream until I can't scream anymore.

Anger still in me I go crazy. Nothing stopping me, nothing in my way. I'm about to go full on nuts and I don't even give a damn.

I jump off my bed and head to my dresser. I swipe my arms across it causing all the objects to fall to the floor. I continue to push my dresser over causing drawers to open and the wood to smash.