TrailMix Extras!

The Drunk New Year's Party

DISCLAIMER
THIS STORY MAY BE INSULTING TO SOME. THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR SCHOOL. CHILDREN SHOULD DEFINITELY AVOID THIS. THIS IS GONNA TRIGGER SOME PEOPLE. THIS STORY IS NOT CANON TO OUR OTHER STORY.

"Delia. Open the fucking door!" A fist keeps pounding on the door yelling for the women to open the 'fucking' door. Delia stands up from sitting in the bathroom floor and unlocks the door. "Go the fuck away. I have a headache." She drinks another full bottle of whiskey. She hears a familiar voice. "Kaine?" A blue Jedi ghost wearing a toy Scarlet Spider mask and holding a toy lightsaber walks in. "I need vodka."

Soon, Trigger, Jayla, and Sapphiri are all drunk to the point where they all see Jedi ghost Kaine. They all head to the Quinjet, because Kaine's ghost is telling them to go to Russia and rescue Princess Leia (Vladimir Putin). They all fly to Russia, and they run into his office, only to find him pole dancing in his underwear. Jayla throws money at him, cheering him on. They take him back to their Quinjet, Delia pouring rum all over him.

They then fly to North Korea under the guidance of Kaine's ghost. They bribe the guards with porn magazines from Jayla and jeans from Sapphiri. They find Kim Jong-un masturbating to a picture of him when he was 2 years old. "MOM!!" Trigger runs at him, kissing him, and putting in her tongue because she thinks it's Darth Vader. She almost felt him up, but she won't do that no matter how drunk she gets. They then take him too, Trigger taking him downstairs and fucking him, while they fly to Tunasia.

They land, stumbling out into the desert, all drinking rubbing alcohol from the medkit. One by one, they begin to collapse, blacking out. They are picked up by SHIELD agents, who take them to the Helicarrier.