PTSD

symptoms of ptsd are

Behavioral: agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation

Psychological: flashback, fear, severe anxiety, or mistrustMood: loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt, or lonelinessSleep: insomnia or nightmaresAlso common: emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts

i deal with all of that               

nightmares   of connor coming to my house or stalking me and hurting me 

flashbacks   of every single memory i have of him from trying "not to hit me" at his b day party to the homecoming incident 

fear   of going to the school where the homecoming event took place       the side of town he lived   that if he sees me that he will hurt me 

hypervigilance  i sit with no one behind me, i need to know where people are in relation to me, i plan escape routes, i think about what items can be used as a weapon

if a man yells or if someone yells at all (more often men) i get flashbacks i freeze up i cant move and all i can see is connor in front of me blocking me in yelling,   every time someone yells i relive all of it even if its only a second of a flashback its there and im scared for my life all over again