[ s k i n n y l o v e ]

s k i n n y

                                                                                       s k i n n y

       

           “I-I’m sorry?” she stuttered, trying to yank her eyes away from the handsome man in front of her. Her hands were clamped so tightly around each other in her lap they had turned white.

                   “The skinny latte. You never drink a skinny latte. You always have a pumpkin spice latte.” The rich voice coming out of those extremely perfect lips was more observant than accusing. Serenity’s heart was going ba-dump with every smooth word of his, and she felt the rushing feeling again before realizing that the voice was actually speaking words. To her. She shook herself internally, clearing her throat to speak before shutting her mouth again.

                   Oh god. He noticed what she normally ordered. Don’t be a fool, you sit with him every day, her inner voice scolded, quelling the rabbits in her stomach. But still he had spoken to her today because of one small difference. He had noticed.

                   “Well, I-I decided to have a small change,” she blurted out. The words felt alien in her mouth, and she rolled her tongue around in wonder. Had she really just said that? Her familiar tights suddenly seemed a little bit too constricting - no, everything seemed suffocating. Her own comfort was turning on her.

                   Alex didn’t say anything, just nodded once and looked back at his newspaper for a moment before folding it neatly and setting it aside. Serenity watched as his long fingers did his usual routine - since hers had just been drastically changed, what could she do but watch?

                   His movements showed no inner turmoil as he calmly slid out his sketchbook and pencil. Nerves taut, Serenity stared as he flipped it open to the page. The drawing of her. Back when she had thought he was mute of all things, she would sit here reading her poems to him as his chalk ran long and short strokes. She would observe him as he bit his lower lip in concentration when an angle was too soft and when he would relax and drink his coffee (which the workers somehow always knew what and when to bring). Those were the moments when he would watch her instead, her fingers as they flipped pages in the notebook and her eyebrows as they rose with each word for emphasis.

                   Serenity looked at her old, faded notebook. Her poems completed her soul, and for months she had been baring herself to the silent, mysterious fellow named Alex. She had let him sketch her every feature without qualms. But now?

                   Half an hour passed under his intense scrutiny, making her fidget in her seat. Yet she didn’t leave. No, whether her coffee was different today, her schedule timings were something Serenity could hold onto, could use to keep some momentum in her life. She would spend another hour here in this spot whether she liked it or not.

                   Alex drew, she watched the snow falling on the beanies of the the group of teenagers out the window. Alex stopped, she played with her nails. Alex looked at her…

                   Serenity’s hand fell to fumble around inside her purse, brown hair cascading into a curtain for her flushed cheeks. Withdrawing some lipgloss, she hurriedly smeared the fruity essence across her chapped lips. Vaguely she recalled promising herself to never let her lips be chapped again, and a small laugh bubbled inside her throat as she realized that today was the day she was finally implementing her resolution.

                   Resolution. Oh, how she didn’t care for any of them. None of them were ever completed, and besides, she had always been quite alright with the way she carried on, New Years or not. Funny how all these changes seemed to be happening on the first.

                   Deeming her lips moisturized enough to last at least two hours, Serenity looked up again, right into the blazing angry eyes of her... acquaintance.

                   “What the hell?” Alex bunched his fists and his jaw ticked, sending alarms ringing throughout her body. “First new coffee, now you’re into that as well?” he said loudly, gesturing to her lips as if she had just grown a fuzzy mustache.

                   Her hand fluttered to her lips before a small spark lit in her own eyes. “Excuse me? Whether my lips stay dry or not dry is none of your business.”

                   Her haughty expression wavered a little when he rubbed the back of his neck, scrunching his eyebrows together. Before she could react, Alex muttered something unintelligibly and in one swift movement he had ripped out her picture, crumpling it and throwing it beside him on his side of the table. All she could do was watch with inexplicable tears pricking behind her eyes. What had she done to anger him like that?

                   Before she could ask, he had stormed off, breaking her last thread to her repetitive, normal life. And suddenly Serenity was alone, without any support or back-up plan as she sat there wondering what in the world had just happened.

                   “Miss?”

                   Her coffee had arrived.