My Light

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

"One year....it's hard to believe that so much time has passed...it's like I blinked, and suddenly I'm here and...you're not." I chuckled weakly, a tear trailing down my cheek that intertwined with the pouring rain dripping from my faded emerald green hair. I was kneeling in front of Mark's grave back in Cincinnati despite the rain soaking through my shirt, making me shiver from the cold as I clutched a bouquet of flowers tightly in my hand.

I had lost everything, my house, the gifts from my fans, even my girlfriend Signe. She abandoned me that night, disappearing without a trace after she was sent to the hospital. I was told by doctors that I was lucky, but I wasn't. I was just cursed to see everything I love leave me. 

The hardest part was that I had to tell Mark's family what happened, had to watch them break down to tears, blame me or even themselves. His brother took it the hardest, swinging wildly at me before collapsing in my arms, too drained for tears. I then had to tell his fan base, sending messages out on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook since I couldn't post videos anymore. They thought it was a sick joke at first, but when Mark stopped uploading videos and didn't respond to comments, they learned the truth. Fan art went out everywhere, suicides increased at an alarming rate, especially when I told my fans that I wasn't doing YouTube anymore. I didn't have the heart to anymore, even if I did have my equipment.

Now here I was, homeless, lonely, and broke. I had spent all of the money I had left in the bank to come here one last time.

I didn't have a place to stay, or any food to eat, but I didn't care. I had stopped sleeping when the nightmares haunted me, his last words echoing in my ears, and food was just a reminder of how my house caught fire. Felix had offered to let me live with him, but I couldn't accept. I didn't want to bring pain to more of my friends.

"I...I want to see you again. I need to see you again. You're all I have left." I bowed my head, the raindrops sliding down my face and onto Mark's grave, turning the dirt to mud. Already flowers adorned his grave, as well as other gifts from his heart broken fans around the world.

I don't know how long I spent there on my knees with him, the only sound filling the silence being the pattering of the rain landing on the leaves of the trees overhead and the distant boom of thunder. I didn't ever want to leave, but when I spotted a person wearing a Jacksepticeye shirt approaching, I forced myself to stand up, my jeans coated in mud and my legs aching. I couldn't force myself to talk to them, it would only break their heart, especially now when I can't even comfort myself.

I darted behind them, using the trees as cover as I ran out of cemetery. Only I forgot that I was running into the middle of a busy street. I only had enough time to watch the oncoming truck honk wildly at me before it rammed into me, sending me flying across the road before landing with a painful thud, my vision snapping into instant darkness.

"I wanted you to take your time."

I whirled around to find a figure standing in the shadows. Mark. He looked the same since the last time I saw him, only his hair was a faded pink instead of red. Extended behind him were wispy black wings that faded in and out of view. On his finger was a ring with red jewel swirled with orange.

"Mark!" I cried, reaching towards him, desperate to hug him if this was the last time I got to see him somehow. He only retreated back a step, sadness glittering in his chocolate brown eyes.

"I-I can't let you die...not now." He whispered almost too quietly for me to hear.

"What's going on? Why do you have black wings? Why do you have that ring?" I blurted out a string of questions.

"I'm...I can't tell you any of that yet. It's best you don't know." He shook his head.

"Am I dead?" I asked softly.

Mark shook his head no. "I won't allow it...not here, not now. Now go, and I pray to not see you again for a long time." He snapped his fingers.

Suddenly I was awake, all of my injuries gone without a trace. I was still lying in the street, the rain subsiding as I pushed myself up off of the pavement and to my feet. Thoughts whirled through my head as I finished crossing the street.

"I was dying when I saw him..." I muttered to myself. I could only get close to actually dying so many times before I actually would die. Suddenly, I had an idea. If I managed to find someone who was dying, Mark would be there...right? He would have to be.