Anxious, that one word pretty much sums up my life. Every day, every decision, and every move makes me more anxious. I feel like I’m making life decisions that I’m shackled to. No turning back, and no redos. I believe my main struggle right now is finding my niche. Because believe it or not working for someone else the rest of my life completely terrifies me. Only because happiness to me is everything and I get the blues just thinking about that possibility of being cemented in a boring 9-5(No offense to anyone. You better get those coins!). I have some many ideas and thoughts that I think it does me more harm than good. I want to be able to say “this is what I love to do!” I want to be passionate about my career. But I’ve searched high and low to find my niche. I’ve tried so many things but I still haven’t found that thing any where. I guess it’s one of those things that come with time.
But meanwhile, I’m working meaningless jobs that I don’t enjoy whatsoever(I try not complain because I’m blessed). But that fear of being stuck is grounded deep inside of me. I try to look at things from a positive point of view when I find myself getting down. So I rationalize my fears of being stuck as the fire that keeps me going. It keeps me Researching and learning. I have so many hobbies/talents that I have taken on because of that fear. I’m starting to realize that fear really pushes me. I just hope it’s pushing me in the right direction.
My main goal in the end is happiness & success.
Let live & let love.
