The Lies and the Truths

Chapter 3

The school year started to wrap up, and I grew even closer to Logan. We hugged everyday, held hands sometimes, and talked as much as possible.

One day, Logan was talking about appearance and told me what he thought. He said that my appearance was what most should look like: Brown hair, hazel eyes, average height, and thin. As soon as he told me I was thin, I doubted myself.

He then asked me to describe what I thought was a good appearance. I mostly described him: light brown and blonde hair, dark eyes, kind of tall, and I said weight didn't matter.

I am such a hypocrite. I said weight doesn't matter, and I'm right about that, I just don't believe myself when I say that.

School let out for summer and all that occupied my mind was being thin.

I looked online and in magazines at all of the celebrities just to see what I "should" look like. I began to compare myself to them and lost myself in that process. I wanted to be beautiful. The media is a cruel place.

Every night Logan would tell me I was beautiful because he started to notice a difference. A difference I didn't even notice in myself.

My mind seemed to only focus on one thing and one thing only, be as thin as possible. I couldn't believe myself. As I said in the beginning I didn't care what people thought. Apparently I did.

I was right about one thing though: I thought differently than most. It may not be a good different, but it is definitely different.

I would just hope that my mind would go back to normal and tell me I was beautiful. Even when it did I didn't listen. I was too far gone to be helped.