Before You Leave Me

19. All I Ask

September 29t, 2022.

10:39pm

"Is there really no other way?" I ask probably for the nth time about an hour later; after they've repeated the CT scan.

Victoria shakes her head.

"The tissues are not absorbing the blood and the longer we take to do something, the worse the situation will get"

"All right" I say taking my hand to my head, "It's just... It's all a bit too much"

"Is there anyone I can call, Daniel?" Victoria asks. It's obvious the clock is ticking against us; "Your mom, your sister..."

"My sister is getting married in three weeks. Please don't call them. They're in Spain anyway, they won't be able to make it here on time. And I don't want to worry them"

"Any friends...? Girlfriend?" she wants to know.

Wait, is she asking if I'm single?

"No" I sigh, "Well, my friend Albert" I say, looking at the nurse, "He was there when the accident happened"

Victoria turns to the nurse.

"He's waiting for an update in the Waiting Room"

Victoria nods.

"Make sure he's still there, please, John"

John Stevens nods and exits the room, leaving Victoria and I alone.

"Will you be the one operating?" I want to know.

"No" Victoria says, "I will probably assist, though. But I'm not a neurosurgeon, nor a neurologist, and this..."

I sigh.

"This is a difficult procedure" I guess.

"You could just say there are easier ones" she answers forcing a smile, "But... I must tell you that it can involve some serious complications. I've seen surgeries like the one you will be having, and I've helped out in some of them"

She's lying.

I don't say anything because I don't want to put more pressure on her, but I know she is.

That both makes me happy and terrifies me.

It makes me happy because after all these years, there's that feeling I used to get around her. The feeling that I knew her. Even though she should feel like a complete stranger, she doesn't.

It terrifies me because it was a lie. Not the part that she's helped in the procedure a couple of times. I fully trust her medical skills.

It's the fact that it is a difficult procedure. Victoria's said there are easier ones, but her eyes say this isn't that easy.

Well, what'd you expect? Your brain is bleeding. Do you remember nothing of what Victoria ranted to you about? The swelling of the brain could result in brain death. Permanent comma. Or just death.

You could die tonight.

I shake my head.

"So if you're not a neurosurgeon, what are you doing in the ER?" I force a chuckle, "I thought you had always wanted to do paediatrics"

"And I still do. But before you start your Core Training, you have to do this thing called Foundation Training for two years in which you rotate in different specialties. I had to do Emergency Medicine, that's why I'm here" she smiles, "Next year I will start my Core Training in Paediatrics, so you weren't far off; you just had the timing wrong"

I close my eyes. My head hurts like crazy, and everything is starting to occur in slow motion.

"Dan" Vic's voice startles me.

I slowly open my eyes and look at her.

"It is part of the protocol, so I need to ask" she says.

It's almost like she's apologising for what she's about to say.

"Shoot" I smile.

"Are,... are you a donor?"

My heart misses a beat.

"What?"

"Well, you don't have a medical file, so..."

"I never go to the doctor" I try to joke, but it feels as if the words aren't exactly coming out right from my mouth.

"That's what I presumed" she smiles.

"A donor..." I breathe out.

"You're aware of the difficulty of the procedure you're gonna go under, right?" Vic says.

I nod.

"I guess I would be" I say shrugging my shoulders.

"All right, then I need you to sign these forms before the nurses prep you up"

I nod again.

Victoria stands up.

"Vic" I say taking her hand, "I'm not going to die, am I?" I ask.

I want to know what she's gotta say.

Victoria gives me a sweet smile.

My stomach turns.

"I will try my best so you don't" she finally answers.

I sigh heavily.

"All right" I say, "I'll let you cut my head open then"

She chuckles slightly.

"Fill those forms" she says pointing at them, "The nurses will come to get you ready. I need to go and let the doctor know now. I will see you when you wake up"

She walks to the door, and I feel the urge to say something before she disappears.

"Vic!" I try to shout, but it doesn't come out half as loud.

She turns around on the doorframe.

"Yeah?"

"It's really good to see you" I smile.

A tiny smile appears on Vic's face as well.

"It's really good to see you too."