I wake up to the sound of murmuring.
The sun shining in my face through the patio doors.
"She's up." I hear Grayson say from the other side of the door. And the 3 other boys with him walk away.
"Morning." He says with a heartwarming smile.
"Morning, who was that?"
"Oh just old friends, I told them you're staying with me for a while. I didn't want to disturb you so we stayed outside."
"Okay, uhm thanks." I say with a slight smile.
He wraps his arms around me and once again, I feel at ease. I don't know how or what it is but his presence just makes me feel so secure.
Grayson's phone vibrates on the table. He takes a look at it, "uhm, I have to run to the store quickly."
He quickly walks out and I spend that time thinking about how my whole entire life is falling apart, I can't live here forever. I have to leave here at some point.
This morning with the 3 boys and the fact that Grayson left so quick after that message saying he has to go to the store, it didn't even sound like that's what it was. I'm getting bad feelings.
Ugh it's probably me just over thinking, I know how I love to do that. It's like a fucking talent!
I brush off this feeling and go to the bathroom to bring back up the apple I had just eaten.
Some days I think I'm too skinny and then I eat a lot, other days I think I'm too fat and wish I had never eaten and then bring up what I can. But most of the time I just can't eat.
***
It's been about 2 hours and Grayson hasn't returned yet, my eyelids feel heavy and I meet darkness.
I wake up in my bed, the bed I slept in as a toddler.
I feel a soft loving arm wrapped around me. I turn around and see my mom smiling at me.
"Mom?"
"Oh baby, I'm so glad you're okay."
Tears now streaming down my face, "But you left me, you left me to almost die with that man."
"Listen to me, your father told me that if I came near you again he would kill you and I couldn't risk that happening but I knew that I would find you one day. It pained me so much, I felt like I failed as a mother. I love you. I would never purposely leave you. You mean the world to me."
"Please don't leave me now, I need you mommy." She pulls me in for a hug.
"We'll see each other again soon, I promise."
I watch her fade away. Her bright, beautiful smile making me miss her so much.
I wake up with tears in my eyes. I don't know what to make of this dream. Is this all true or is it just a dream? God, I miss her so much. I wonder where she is. Maybe this dream means I'll see her again.
My thoughts get interrupted by someone coming through the door. 6:02AM and Grayson arrives now.
"Grayson?!"
"Dayna. I'm so sorry, my friend got hit by a car and I had to stay with him in hospital for the night."
He's giving me this long explanation but all I'm thinking about is my dream.
I don't pay attention to his words that sound like rubbish to me. I'm getting that bad feeling again.
