Death Becomes Us

Chapter Sixteen

If only time could stand still. If only I could make a day infinite; perhaps then I would be able to experience a fraction of the glory of life. It has become clear now that I had operated under an enormous amount of ignorance as Death's master, believing that I had seen everything of life as a human.

The world has caught me in the midst of only one city and has revealed in a single day wonders beyond what I was capable of understanding as Death in a thousand years. I allow my surroundings to sweep me away, determined to experience everything it has to offer. I discover the world anew as if I am a child seeing things for the first time. It is like I have never travelled these streets before, memorizing every inch and detail.

Elizabeth is by my side, my constant companion, patiently following wherever my whim takes me. We explore museums of art and history, science and space and I soak in everything like I have never known their world. It is endless, larger than I could ever imagine, and filled with possibilities I could only dream of.

For a time the feeling that something is slipping away continues to sit in the back of my mind, but gradually I begin to forget it. The longer I stay with Elizabeth the more I find that everything else—everything I once was and once knew—is so ordinary and soon becomes like a nightmare that fades away. Only a whisper of a voice tells me that something is wrong, but even that is quieted.

We explore to the far corners of DC, entertained by endless distractions until the sky is painted by the sunset. On the top platform of a tourist bus I look up at the broad strokes of magenta and gold that bathe clouds hanging just over the capitol. A brisk wind throws my hair about my face; a little warm, a little cold and heavy with the smell of hot pavement. I close my eyes and breathe it in, listening to the sounds of traffic that surrounds us.

Elizabeth stands at the forefront of the empty bus, her arms outstretched like she is flying. The way her dress dances around her and how she smiles at the sky I begin to believe that maybe she can fly. Any moment now she'll spring from the bus platform and soar through the air, refusing to be tethered down by the world. For a time I entertain the idea that I could join her and we could fly off together, but all too soon my daydream comes crashing down. I can't fly away with her. This day will end and she will leave, becoming a beautiful memory of what could have been.

I look away from her blissful freedom and stare at my hands in my lap, unable to shake the spiral I have set myself in. Suddenly her smaller hands slip into mine and take hold of me, gripping me firmly in a promise never to let go. Elizabeth pulls me from my seat, silently appearing in time to save me from drowning in my own thoughts. She takes me to the front as the bus turns along the Potomac and forces me to face the dazzling river, holding my arms out to either side.

Her chin comes to rest on my shoulder and a warm shiver is set loose through my torso when she leans into my back. I can smell her perfume, the scent erasing all previous thought from my mind, and I feel her breath lightly fan my neck.

"Don't think about it," Elizabeth reminds me, though I barely hear her through a desperate wish for her to kiss my neck. "There's still so much left for us to do."

My heart thuds when my wish is nearly granted and I feel her lips brush over the skin, but she instead moves next to me.

"Is there?" I ask hoarsely, trying to reclaim myself.

"What? You think that just because it's getting dark out we're suddenly done? I promise, this isn't over yet."

She stands up on the platform rail and raises her arms to match me, laughing as her hair is drawn back by the wind.