Entirely New

Chaper 1: Vivid

I swam through my muddled sea of thoughts, the dream getting more and more confusing the deeper I swam. Everything was blurred and shattered, but yet, emotion still lingered. There was a yearning, a desire, for something. I was scared of rejection, being turned away. Then, I saw someone, a girl.

Vanessa

~

I woke, sweating, shaking, scared. The dream came up quiet often, and just as often I had blown it off, shaking off the feelings that had carried into reality.
Still panting, I crawled over to my worn but stable dresser. I've always been picky about the things I do; what I wear, how I do my hair, my assignments at school, the list goes on.
  That day, I picked out a light shade of jeans with a white t-shirt and a red flannel, paired up with a white and black striped pair of adidas tennis shoes. I knew that lately the weather had been warm, but regardless the classrooms were usually chilly.
I folded and piled my outfit onto my bed in the corner, then scurrying to the shower across the hall.

The dream came up again. I ignored it.

Drying my hair, I once again was flooded with dirty thoughts of self hatred. I've always disliked my legs, especially my thighs. I'd always thought they made my look fat. I knew I wasn't really fat, and that most even wanted what I had, but I was ungrateful never the less.
  After finishing up in the shower and getting dressed, I walked around my house waking up my brother and sister, both being two years younger than me and born on the same day due to being identical twins. I let my mother sleep in 20 more minutes since she stayed up two extra hours writing another short story for her series.
  Once again I turned a corner, approaching the kitchen. I got out my usual cereal and are in peace until the twins walked in.
"You and I both know you picked out that outfit to impress him." Carlee teased.
Her.
  I gave a light chuckle, amused she thought I was trying to impress her but even more so about her misgendering. Though I told her my "crush" was a guy, it still amused me.
I got up to wake up my mother this time with her breakfast in my hands. I crept into her bedroom with the tray of oatmeal and fruit. I set it down, and gave her a light nudge.
"Remember, you still have to drive us to school!"
"Vanessa's parents can drive you, can't they? Text them. Charlii and Carlee don't have to go for another hour. I should be able to drive there in my pajamas."
I sighed, and grabbed my phone from my pocket.

Me: hey, do you think you guys can drive me to school? My mom stayed up late writing again

Van: sure thing

I grabbed my stuff, and waited at our front porch.
6:43. Ten minutes.
When they arrived I had already put on my flannel after being provoked by the bugs that were already coming out after the harsh winter. I waved and jumped right in.
  ~
  The school hallways were always crowded in the morning and during passing time, but Vanessa and I never seemed to mind.
"How's life?" I usually started the conversations with something more interesting but nothing big had happened during the weekend.
"As good as my life can get" She teased, lightly nudging me with her elbow to get my attention.
I lifted my gaze to meet hers, and suddenly I felt more safe. Her hazel eyes were an escape from the yelling. The crowd may not have bothered me, but the noise sure as hell did.
"I don't think it could get much better than this." Sarcasm was clear in my voice considering it was a Monday morning.
  The rest of the day wasn't all that interesting, but I did enjoy being with Vanessa. She just made me happy, and at the time, that was all that could have possibly mattered. She was always there, wherever I went. She was like a neon flower in a valley of weeds. She was colorful, bright, vivid.

:)