Fallen

6. Lifeless Portraits

   We stay like that for hours, both of us quiet and reflective, our minds trapped in an endless void of controlling thoughts willing us to be silent. I drift into a mindless sleep, but soon, I am awoken by a light tap on my shoulder.

"I have to go now, my dad is waiting," he looks at me gently, searching for an okay, "I apologize, I was going to wait until you woke up by yourself...but he really needs me. I will be back later tonight to check on you," and with that concluding statement, I nod, and he walks out of room, downstairs, through the front door, and to his car.

   I can hear the engine sputtering to life as he turns the key, the sound of his tires leaving my driveway gets quieter and quieter as he reverses and eventually leaves. I get out of my bed and pad over to my window, as I pull back the blue curtains, I notice that he left a note on my large, wooden desk.

____________________________________________________________

Aspen,

I am very sorry for intruding, as we are still very much strangers, however I would like that to change. I know I will never understand the feelings that you are going through, and I won't pretend that I do. I will just be an ear to listen and a soul to care, if you would like. I promise that I will not discuss the information that you share with me, as long as your safety is not in harm's way. If you don't feel like talking, I will sit in silence with you. If you need to cry, I will be your shoulder to soak with tears. And if you need a distraction, I will take you anywhere. I apologize for leaving you tonight, as I was planning to skip my father's plans, however he wouldn't allow it, which I understand. Please, I am begging you, do not try anything while I am gone. I will be back tonight with movies and popcorn, maybe that can help begin the long process of building trust between us, and that way, we don't have to do a lot of talking tonight. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, which is why I am writing all of this, but please remember: I will help you for as long as you need, day or night, I am here.

-Oliver

    ____________________________________________________________

    I don't really know what to make of his letter, it is very thought out and full of care, but I am still not sure I want him to be a part of my life. This endearing persona he is taking on isn't one that is portrayed at school. Yes, he is known for being smart and nice to everyone, but that extends to the population of big eyed girls with yappy voices at school. He tugs at their heartstrings and parties with the best of them, his own friends a combination of large-muscled jocks and scantily-clad girls. He is amazing at baseball and football, and will probably get hefty scholarships for college with his combination of good academics and athletic abilities. By himself, he would be fine, but it's his wild friends that come along with him, that are not to be messed with. I am not going to be a victim of his good looks, not when I have problems much bigger than finding a way to get that dimpled face to fall in love with me.

    However, he has affected me in one way, even though I still have nagging thoughts willing me to try other things, I now have someone checking in on me. I feel as though I cannot physically do anything now that he was here. I place his letter back down on my desk and sit down.

    My eyes wander to the large window, it's starting to get dark. I decide that reading is the best option, so I grab my current reading selection and continue the story. I never expected to finish this book. Page by page I read, but I am soon interrupted by the slow growl of my stomach. I go to the bathroom first, then proceed to the kitchen. I grab a small granola bar from the pantry and then pick out other snacks for tonight's movie-watching. Gummy bears and Skittles should be good, I also make sure we have some soda cooling in the fridge.

    I go into the large living room by the front door, and place blankets and pillows on the couch from the cabinets lining the back wall. As I turn to leave, I notice a family portrait, taken a long time ago. My mother sans the wrinkles brought on by her stressful job and my dad standing next to her, his eyes still full of love and passion. Then there is me, I have the largest smile on my face, a true smile. A toothy grin that is backed by childlike hope and endless happiness, those were the good days. The whole living room is covered with these pictures, but as I move down the wall, sadness and pain date the pictures year by year. Lifeless portraits. My mom's face looking more impatient and worn, my dad's eyes losing their loving glow as his ability to cope with my mother's busy lifestyle vanishes, and me, my smile beginning to look more rehearsed and less full of joy and happiness. That's my family.

    I go back upstairs and decide to finish some homework, I take out my computer, push the power button, and begin. I guess working on these assignments means that I have come to terms with living through another week of school.

    Just as I was finishing up with an essay about a book we read in class, his black car comes pulling up my driveway, followed by a loud knock on the front door. The noise echoes off the walls in the house, leaving an atmosphere of emptiness. I slowly go downstairs, my soft steps hit each wooden stair as I head to the door. The handle is cool under my hand as I turn it and the door creaks open, he smiles at me with true happiness, his blue eyes full of life.