Not So Super

2 Powerless

Never have I ever felt these emotions that were bubbling up from me. I'm sure I've been pitied, I'm certain that I've disappointed people before, but this, this is different. It's like the whole world is looking down their nose at me and lifting it away, as if I mean nothing. I hate this, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! It's like my insides are trying to rip me apart as one of the guards grabs me by the arm and escorts me out, unable to move my own legs from the shock and the tearing inside of me. He shoves me out and quickly snaps the door shut behind me, cutting off the life that could have potentially been better than this one. I know what could potentially happen, and maybe that's what this torture is right now, the ripping and tearing of my anatomy, of my DNA, of my memory, I can tell. I'm becoming Innocent. No, no, no, no, no, no. I scream inside my head as I hold it, the pain pulsing like my heart beat eradicating. Maybe this is for the better, to not even know about the life that I could have had; a life where I could have possibly done something great, to be able to do the impossible. No, no, this is worse, being ignorant, not knowing, the way my brother will have that look in his eyes every time he looks at me, the way my parents will have hushed conversations about their super lives, the way they will smile at me like they do to the Innocents that they help while in their world, like to a child, even if the Innocents can't see it.

I need to do something, do something to hold my sanity together, to hold myself together. I kick a tree with all my strength; of course it doesn't waver, even like when the wind would rustle it. I lean my forehead against it and breath in my carbon dioxide that I am letting out in the small space where my air way resides against the cool bark. There is one thing that you could do. My fading subconscious tugs at the back of my head and I know what she means. Hillan, it's the other self defined type of people; those with Hero backgrounds that turn villain to save themselves from Innocentness. My old babysitter was a Hillan; she died while committing crime, thrown herself off a building while fighting her mother. She didn't want to have to explain why, she knew nobody would understand. Death was more inviting to her then knowing that she would forget, forget the reasons that she grew up wanting to be a good person, forget the reason why she hates feeling pitied, forgetting her entire life before. And honestly, I believe, I've always believed that I would feel the same way too. Right now I do, I understand her now, the need to cling to the memories that identify her. With my mind made up I stand straight again and know my new purpose, I dig through my deteriorating mind to find the memory that foretold all of this.

~

It was one of those perfect days; the sun was shining brightly, as if smiling at me. Father and Brother had gone to the track to race. Mother and I were frolicking through the tall grass of the park, the smell of nature drifting around me like the butterflies that flow in the wind but clump together to keep from feeling lonely. By this time my mother had needed to go to the bathroom and I was still chasing ladybugs in the field when I came to a dead part of the grass, the crunch of what is no longer living under my little feet as I keep looking for the ladybug. All to quickly I lose it and sigh, turning to return to the tall grass to see a woman, tall and spindly like a spider.

"Widow!" I exclaim happily, she was one of my mother's dearest friends. Her power was to grow four other arms, two on each side, protruding from her back. She's not herself my instincts tug from in the back of my head. Her figure leans down to me and she grasps me from the sides of my face and I freeze, her gaze holding me in place. "W-what are you-" I start but she shushes me and my vulnerability makes me do so.

"Listen to me Edra, you do not belong in the world that you are hoping to be a part of," She says, her pale skin shimmering in the sunlight "because you are powerless." I gasp from beneath her soft yet venomous hold and protest no, my lips trembling. "Yes, Edra, you think you are a late bloomer, but you're not. And you will turn Innocent" My face goes slack but my lips keep trembling as I try to produce more than a soft squeak from my throat. "But to keep this from happening you will have to be like Reena." She says softly, my voice makes a more desperate squeak; Reena was my babysitter, until she disappeared recently, no one knows where she went; only that she was deemed powerless. "And when you go searching your broken memory for this one, because you are a fighter, because you never give up, you will need to go to this address. 1174 South East Whipplen St." all I can do is stare at her face, with bags hanging from under her eyes, making her wrinkles look deeper and her eyes tired. "You are the strongest girl I've ever met and you will not lose this fight, I promise you." She says as she bends down further, her head dipping lower then half her height as she bestows to my forehead a soft, loving kiss. She smiles at me and whispers "I am looking forward to seeing you again." And then with the wind, she's gone, and I'm left standing there in the dead grass, lips trembling as I try to process the last two minutes that seemed agonizingly long, yet so fast I can't even remember what just happened.