ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ ━ Ciel Phantomhive x Reader (IN EDITING)

Chapter 4 (edited)

Early morning you woke up while everybody was still asleep except you and Sebastian. A surprise greeted you when you opened your eyes to Sebastian standing beside your bed, "Good morning, Lady (y/n), did you have a wonderful sleep last night?" he asked. 

Your eyes were still adjusting to the morning brightness piercing through the curtains of your window. Blinking a few tines to bring yourself back to reality, you screamed." S-Sebastian! You scared the hell out of me!"  

"Now now, we do not use those words in The Mansion. Wake up and get dressed, someone wants to talk to you outside," he replied, making his way towards the door with his usual hands behind his back stance. 

You knew exactly who that person was, still drowning in guilt and embarrassment, you crossed your arms and mumbled, "Well, I'm sure someone doesn't." Suddenly, Sebastian snaps around and pulls you up, almost forcing you to get dressed. Luckily though, you immediately escaped his grasp and ran towards the bathroom. You weren't a child, you knew how to dress yourself up on your own. 

You exit the bathroom all dressed up minutes later, and there he was standing by the frame of your door, waiting for you. He looked back feeling your presence and with a worried smile on his face. "I'm glad you came out early so we could talk-"

"-There's nothing to talk about Ciel.. It was all my fault for speaking so carelessly about your personal life. I apologize." you continued, "But, I was hurt too you know. I didn't mean to hurt you either."

"I know that too, and I sincerely apologize as well," he says. The tension between the two of you was immense, it wasn't the same anymore. All because of yesterday.

You breathe slowly and sighed, "Alright, we both are sorry then. However, I think we should both learn our places, especially me. I'm only your servant, Ciel. I will serve you with nothing more and nothing less. We can't know each other personally or else we'll hurt each other again."

"(Y/n) wait, that's not what I meant. I don't care if you think you are merely a servant to me but that's wrong. I don't want to think of you that way. I want to get to know you more."

You sighed once again, but his confession surprised you. You felt the same way, too. Having a secret crush on Ciel and all. You knew that it was impossible to only know each other professionally, you two were friends after all. But you shook your head at him, "I will think about it." You walk past him without waiting for a response. You had to get back to work after all.

Later throughout the day, every time you would walk by Ciel you tried your best to ignore him or at least avoid him as much as possible. It was hard to do, but it was for the best. As for him, though, every time he would walk by his gaze glued to you, trying to approach you and talk to you before you could leave. But of course, you didn't let it.

"Let us have an end to this Young Master, apologize to her," said Sebastian as he walked beside Ciel in the hallway. "This is childish."

"I did, Sebastian. But she wants to keep it professional, only between work and her duty to me and The Mansion. I tried, but there's nothing I can do to even make her stop avoiding me." replied Ciel. He was devasted indeed, he only started to open up to you little by little and now it felt like the world was against him. 

"There is another way Young Master," Sebastian said, making Ciel's ears listen up. Sebastian continues, "Tell her. If you cannot tell her either, I will do it for you."

"Tell her?" Ciel thought. Yes, it was the best solution. He would tell her everything, not for her sake but for his. He didn't want to lose what they had and now, he would open up to her even more. He looked at Sebastian with pleading eyes, "Can you help me?"

......

"Lady (y/n), may I tell you a story?" asked Sebastian who entered the kitchen as you were cooking for dinner.

You remain focus on your cooking, "If this is about Ciel, please don't talk." you replied.

"It is. But this will help you understand the Young Master a little more." Sebastian slowly leaned forward to you and stopped beside your ear, whispering something. After what he whispered, you then realized you were wrong about Ciel. Everything Sebastian told you was true, it broke your heart, again you felt guilty. You immediately dropped your knife in the sink and dashed out of the kitchen.

You had to see Ciel, you just had to.

"C-Ciel?" you knocked at his door. "A-Are you here? I need to talk to you.." you repeated when no one answered. 

The door opened, revealing a saddened boy, "(Y/n)? What are you doing here?" Ciel asked.

"I came here to apologize."

"Apologize? For what? I thought you didn't want to talk to me." pouted Ciel. 

"I was wrong, Sebastian told me everything and I'm sorry... I didn't know that your parents died, and Sebastian is the only thing you have left to trust. You also lost Elizabeth."

"Yes, I have lost everybody. Elizabeth and I were not meant to be but I still love and miss her. But there is one person who came up to me... you. If Meyrin put your dress in someplace else, we would not have met, we would be total strangers. I'm sorry to (y/n), you're the first friend I have ever had. And now I have you in my life, too."

You whined as tears began to form in your eyes, and ran towards Ciel and hugged him crying 'I'm sorry' for many times. Your true friendship began there. 

"You may stop now (y/n), it's alright.." Ciel chuckled as he patted your soft hair. "Thank you."

You let go of your grip on him and held both of his hands. "Can you smile for me?"  you asked him all of a sudden. 

"What? smile? N-No I can't. You see I-I have not smiled for a very long time now..." said Ciel, looking down shyly as he scratched his head.

"Are you sure you can't give me a smile~?" you teased.

"N-No..." Ciel blushed as you inched closer to his face. "I've been smile for a while, on the inside. You're the reason I started smiling again, in my heart."