"Dr. Cheese Burger, why do I find people annoying? Perhaps I have not found the right friends? Do I just happen to befriend the wrong people? Or do I need to become more tolerant?"
Cheese Burger cleans his fur, swiftly rubbing his face and making his way to his fluffy tummy.
"I guess with all the stress of passing our courses and having to find jobs after graduation, people can get a little crazy sometimes. People can be so mean, selfish, and inconsiderate. I genuinely feel like there isn't a single person that I truly trust."
Cheese Burger nudges my hand, and I begin to pet his back. He purrs and starts to lay down. I continue to stroke his back until he flattens his body with arms and legs sprawled out.
"Ahh, you can totally trust me though. I'm a doctor, remember?"
His little feet are just too cute. I pet one of his front feet, and he jumps up immediately. I guess guinea pig feet are ticklish?
"You're such a cute little piggy wiggy aren't you, Cheese?
"Excuse you, I am an intellectual. I deserve to be treated as such. Don't patronize me. I know lots of things."
He waddles off while making "boop boop" noises.
"Wait! Dr. Cheese Burger! I still need you! We haven't even gotten to the really important stuff yet! Come back!"
He's so pudgey. I hope we're not feeding him too much. How can you tell when a guinea pig is overweight? They all have the shape of a melting potato.
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Therapy Sessions with Dr. Cheese Burger
RandomDr. Cheese Burger is a board certified psychiatrist with decades of experience in helping his patients work through buried emotions and past trauma. Just kidding. He's a guinea pig who demands food and attention whenever anyone walks in the room. St...
