The Pact

Ant and Dec collapsed down next to each other both men's heart pounding hard in their chests, breathing heavy trying to catch their breathes. They had just had the most intense session of their lives, they were probably going to regret it in the morning but right now laying there together coming down from their highs was the best feeling. No words were spoken the room was silent apart from the sound of both men breathing. They laid like this for while both flat on their backs arms pressed close together, Dec was the only one wearing an item of clothing which was a now slightly damp light blue shirt, unbuttoned and pointless but in the rush it never got pulled off. Minutes went by like this until Dec moved to his side propping himself up with his elbow and looking down at Ant. Who by now was fighting the urge to not fall asleep knowing if he did he would miss his final moments with Dec like this. His eyelids heavy, his jet black hair which was always so perfectly styled clung to his sweaty forehead. He to moved but only to place his hand behind his head so he could angle himself right to look into the older mans eyes. "I'm going to miss this" Dec was the first to speak, his voice still a little shaky as his body recovered from it's climax. He placed his hand gently on Ant's chest playing with small black hairs on his chest. A single tear threatening to fall from he equally tired eyes. Neither knew how they had got to this point in their lives, it all started on a drunken night back in 1997. Both had been away from home and from the contact of their girlfriends. At the time it was just a drunken mistake but from then on they couldn't help themselves. Whenever they were down, away from home or just in the mood for it they would find themselves exactly where they were now. Eventually they made a pact, once they had both married it would stop that was the only time they spoke about it they didn't need words to explain it, the action itself showed just how much they cared for each other. Now they were here laying in Ant's room of his family home, Dec had snuck out of his Mam's saying he was going for a drive to clear his head. It was his wedding day tomorrow and he couldn't sleep knowing he was going to miss the last opportunity he had to be this close the Ant. Tomorrow his life was going to change and that thought scared him a little. He didn't want to give up Ant. Maybe deep down inside there was a part of him that hoped things would change between him and Ant they would talk about this but that moment never came. He loved Ali he was sure of that but something was missing his love for Ant was different maybe it was because they were bestfriends first and foremost.

Ant laid next to Dec his hands placed behind his head studying the older mans facial features. This scene had happened multiple times over the past 18 years, he never regretted a thing but right now this moment was tinged with slight sadness and guilt. Dec had always been perfect in his eyes, something about him meant he felt a lot closer to him then he ever did to Lisa. Inside he never wanted these moments to end but he couldn't forget the biggest mistake he had ever made. The pact, it was his own silly idea he had come up with it when he married Lisa because he wasn't ready to give up Dec. He knew it was selfish of him to do it but at the time Dec hadn't been with anyone seriously for years and a horrible part of him thought maybe Dec wouldn't marry and it could stay like this forever. Ant stayed in his position the words Dec just spoke stung his heart and he couldn't speak afraid of what he might say. He regretted not ever speaking to Dec about how he really felt and now he had to pay the price. Tomorrow he would have to watch as his bestfriend married the women of his dreams, the women Ant forever hoped wouldn't come into their lives. Normally after a climax like that he would fall asleep holding Dec tight until morning making some bullshit excuse the day as to why they were both exiting the same room but right now Dec was shifting from his position getting up off the bed and finding the rest of his clothing that had been thrown around the room. Ant reluctantly got up to finding his own clothes neither man spoke this whole time, they didn't need to both knew what the other was thinking and it hurt too much. Right now Ant would give anything to spend the rest of his life with Dec but it was too late they couldn't just admit their feelings after all these years. It would hurt too many people and destroy too many lives. It was pain he would have to deal with for the rest of his existence and he hated himself for it.

The pair made their way down the stairs they had just run up desperately clingy to each other removing clothes as they went. Just the sound of footsteps filled the hallways and the front door opened. They stood close to each other touching ever so slightly, they could feel the others heart beating in their chests. An exchange of sad looks played out before Dec stepped sideways exiting the house and leaving Ant alone and hurting inside. The smaller man opened to door to his car and sat down heavily letting out a deep breathe and resting his head on his hands that were placed on the top of his steering wheel. How did it get to this point? Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't he just admit to his feelings? Angrily Dec turned the key and started the car, he pressed the gas and speed off. Making his way through the streets of Newcastle, he made his way to the quayside. A place he had been to so many times before. He sailed straight through the traffic lights unaware of anything going on around him. He only cared about one thing right now and that was Ant. Parking the car up he got out and was hit my the cold breeze. It may have been the last day of July but it was Newcastle, it was still cold. Making the short walk to the place he always went when he needed to think. A small bench on the edge of everything, he had spent a lot of time here over the past 18 years, so did Ant it was their bench. As he approached he saw a small figure sat on one side, thinking it was just a drunken thug he carried on not letting them stop him. Keeping his head down not wanting to make eye contact or be noticed by the stranger he sat down and let out a loud sigh. He ran his hands down his face and stayed there for a few seconds. He didn't know how he was going to keep a smile on his face and get through tomorrow. It wasn't until a few minutes later Dec remembered the person sat next to him. The stranger shifted closer to him and placed a hand gently on his knee. "I knew you would come here" They spoke their actions making him jump slightly and sit up. "Ant?" Dec asked confused. He was confused as to how he had made it here before him. But soon remembered the sports car sat outside Ants, the car he was meant to drive to his wedding in tomorrow. Tears started to role down his face unable to hold it in any longer. Ant quickly pulled him to a tight hug. "Shh Declan it's going to be fine I love you nothing is going to change that" He spoke softly. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. "I'm going to break the pact I can't live my life without you" The younger man spoke quietly it was almost a whisper. "But Anth we can't you said it couldn't go on" Dec pulled back making eye contact with Ant. "I know but I can't do it my heart felt like it was being ripped in two when you left just then" Tears started to form in Ants eyes. "I can't live my life not being that close to you Declan it would kill me" His voice shaking as he spoke. Dec was silent this whole time he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Ant felt the same? "But what about Ali....Lisa?" Dec panicked. "What about them Decs...nothing's going to change is it? They haven't noticed anything yet have they?" Ant reassured Dec and pulled him into another tight hug. "I couldn't live the rest of my life living a lie Declan I need you" Ant spoke running his hand through the older mans hair. "I love you Anth" Dec sobbed into his shoulder. "I love you too Declan nothing is going to change that".

The End x

Been playing with this idea for a while now, still not sure about it but I hope you enjoyed the fic anyway X