Can You See?

Death Ribbon

"I see it now. The pain." I had recently just gotten out of the hospital, and I felt like crap. Everything was numb. My body ached.

But not from pain. No. It ached for something more. It ached for a warm touch. A loving one.

I hugged my arms around my waist, my brown hair fanning around me on my warm, yet somehow distant sheets. I wanted some kind of love.

Yet it wasn't meant to be.

Sam was banned from my house. My father has touched me in ways that I never want to remember. And my mother won't even touch me at all.

It was lonely, in this now quiet house. Yes a house.

Not a home. No. This was never a home. Even back then, the word 'home' never existed. Just a cold house, that sat in a nice neighborhood, with cheery, happy families.

'Except mine.' I thought grimly. It hurt to see families that seemed to have so much love and laughter.

Yet looks could be deceiving.

I stifled a laugh, causing a wave of pain to erupt in my body. Now I know your wondering, what happened?

I'll tell you I've been told. Apparently while I was running away, a drunk driver was simply in happy land, not noticing me. He hit me, and I was left in a coma for almost five days. I had suffered minor damage, luckily, but was left with fixable brain damage, and a few broken ribs.

I had almost died though. Not because of the accident. Oh no. I had heard from nurses and other patients that my "father" had tried to unplug me, simply because he thought I was already dead.

That made me hate him even more, if that was even possible.  They discharged me soon after, and I was able to go home. Though I wish I had stayed in the hospital.

'Guess it's meant to be.'

A knock broke me from my thoughts.

"Hazel. It's... me." I knew that voice. The voice of person who attempted to kill me. I stayed quiet, waiting for something to happen.

"Hazel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I've treated you these past years. I've been a prick- no an asshole! I don't deserve to be your father, I don't deserve to love you. Seeing you, on the ground, with blood everywhere, your eyes lifeless, it almost broke me." He stopped for a few seconds, and I could hear soft sobs coming from his lungs.

"Hazel. I'm... I'm sorry baby. I've treated you so bad. And I don't expect you to forgive me so soon, but I promise I'll make it up to you. Let me earn your trust again and I'll get back on track. With you, your mom-" He could no longer control it anymore. His sobs echoed throughout the house, and I could hear him sliding down the door.

I contemplated if I should comfort him or not. But he sounded convincing, and I did want love again. I didn't want to selfish like he was, so I used up all my strength, ignoring the pain, walked to my bedroom door, and opened it slowly.

"It's okay Daddy." I hugged him softly and let him pour his heart out. I noticed his scent. Instead of the sickening smell of alcohol and weed mixed together, he smelled like lavender and pine trees.

I shushed him with soft words as he gripped my body tightly, as if he softened it I would disappear.

I felt tears prickle my eyes, and I embraced him tighter, feeling relief. The lump I had always felt in my throat was gone. I felt love. In a loving embrace.

But...

The curling knot in my stomach was still there.

And all hell was about to break loose.