The Impossible Made Possible.

Nothing. I'm fine. Pt. 1

Ellen's POV.

It's been weeks and I haven't seen Jason at school. I wonder what's going on. Our last encounter was .. I can't believe what I've done. I've lost that one person who actually loved me for who I am and not for my looks or what he can do to me. I have been trying to get ahold of him , but whenever I call , it sends me straight to voicemail. He doesn't answer to my texts , and to top it all he doesn't have Facebook , Twitter , Instagram or even MySpace.

So basically , this means I'll never get ahold of him. I'll never get to hear his voice that always knew how to calm me down , piss me off , make me smile and laugh , I'll never get to hear the voice that was always there for me and encouraged me to go on whenever I felt like giving up.

They say true love is blind and now I understand what they meant by that. I miss Jason so much. His presence was -

"Ellen ! Ellen ! " I hear Amanda call out my name in class. "Hey , sorry. What's up ?" "Mrs Smith wants to have a word with you. She said something about you having your head in the clouds blah blah blah. Just go , she's outside waiting for you." "Uh , thank you." I say getting off my chair on my way to the teacher whom Jason went to for advice and help concerning her class - English. Argh , even when I'm in trouble , I'm thinking of him. Missing him is killing me emotionally and mentally.

"Yes , ma'am ?" "Is everything okay , Ellen ?" She asked with a concerned voice. What the heck ? Isn't she supposed to be all angry and stuff ? Sigh. "Everything is fine." I say and try to walk away. "Ellen , for the past fee weeks you've been down , and I haven't seen Jason at school either .. - " did she have to mention his name now ? "I'm fine !" I exclaim interrupting her. Then the bell rings and I go inside the class , grab my school backpack and go to my secret place for some time Alone as it was lunch.

My yearning for him and sadness grows every time I see something he and I used to do together.

"Ellen , come with me. I don't what's wrong but I'm going to do my best to cheer you up." Amanda says standing with Christy , Mindy and Mary. The new friends I made after the argument with Chelsea and the squad. Amanda decided to come with me , staying loyal like she always had.

"How did you guys find me ?" I asked in a shocked and depressed voice. So much for my secret place.

"Ellen , you've been coming here for the last few weeks. You don't even eat lunch with us anymore." Christy says as she looks away.

"I'm sorry you guys , I just have a lot on my mind and wouldn't want to bother you with my problems. "

"Boy problems ?" Mindy replies teasing me as the others chuckle. They expected me to laugh since I never had those problems before. But instead , I just look the other way and walk away. I look back for a second and could see the worry in their faces.

"Girls , don't worry about me. I'm fine." I look at the and give the biggest fake smile ever.

Lunch is over its time for the last two periods. Life Orientation and PT.

In both class I stay quiet with earphones on listening to Ne-yo , Chris Brown , Shawn Mendes , Beyonce , Rihanna , mainly artist with love songs. For the past weeks I've been struggling to concentrate in all classes , and that has never happened before.

Ever since I tried committing suicide , my sister has been trying hard to ensure I never try that stunt again. She didn't even tell Mom because she was afraid it would trigger her high blood. Although she is sick , she's been working hard to ensure our happiness ever since dad passed away last year.

School's out , and it's the weekend. Normally I'm super excited , but now I'm just like "oh okay , whatever." .. I text Merissa to come fetch me and she tells me she's already here by the school's parking lot. I walk towards the parking lot and she's parked exactly where Jason was parking , where we had the argument that left me so vulnerable. As I walk towards the car , the pain gets too much and I break into tears. Merissa notices and she runs to catch me before I fall.

"Ellen , what's wrong ?!" She asks worried sick about me. She places my head on her chest as I cry my eyes out. She knows how that argument affected me. She knows how much I'm in love with Jason and how happy I got whenever we spent time together. She noticed how depressed I've been the past few weeks and she's been supporting me even though she knew I was only pretending to be okay whenever she and mom were around. For the past few weeks , this is the first time she is seeing me cry so much. Last time I did was when Daddy passed away.

"It's okay , Sis. I know what you're going through. I know how you feel. You'll be okay , I promise." I calm down and stop crying. I get off of her and get inside the car. She does too and starts the engine. "You okay , baby sis ?" She asks. I nod and we take off.

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I apologise for the late update. Things have been hectic for me this festive season.