Paging Payton(A Grey Anatomy/Jackson Avery Fanfic)

T W E N T Y - O N E

"Jackson.."

"Hm?"

"Just kiss me already."

Payton Arizona

His lips connected with mine. A feeling formed in the pit of my stomach and I wasn't quite sure what it meant. Jacksons hands found his way around my waist and I threw mine around his neck. Finally we broke away from each other for breath.

His eyes searched mine. "I can't do this." I thought to myself. "I'm sorry." I whispered before slipping past him. I ran upstairs and into my room, shutting the door.

"Payton, have you seen my watch?" Alex said bursting through the door. "What's wrong? I swear what did Jackson do?"

"Nothing, Alex. He did nothing. It was me."

"Well then what did you do?"

"Jackson kissed me. He told me he was going to and I let him. But then, I don't know. My mind screamed at me to run. To get away from him as fast as possible. So I did. "

"If you think Jacksons gonna hurt you-" Alex started to say.

"Alex, take every fucked up thing you know about me and multiply that by ten. That's about half of how fucked up I am. Guys don't want fucked up. And it's my fault that this is happening because I let him kiss me." I had gotten up by now and was pacing around the room. Whenever I got frustrated or upset I became more fidgety than usual.

"Payton, Jackson wanted to kiss you. He wants you. So-"

"And what happens when that fades away? What happens then, hm? When shit comes out, which it will because it always does, Jackson won't quite so interested. What happens when he realizes that I curse like a sailor, that I'm so OCD that I have panic attacks at a pen out of place, when he finds out that I've been drinking since I was twelve. When shit comes out, he'll want to be as far away from me as possible. We'll be back at square one. He hated me when we first met, when I was lying in that hospital bed. Whose to say he won't go back to that?" I couldn't take being in that room anymore. It was suffocatingly hot and I felt like each breath was just a useless gasp.

I grabbed my phone and keys and raced downstairs and out the door. I could hear Jackson and Alex calling my name from the house but I just kept running. The cut on the bottom of my foot was killing me but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

When I finally slowed down I realized I had ended up at the hospital.

"Dr. Arizona, what are you doing here?" Webber asked me.

"I- umm.." I felt extremely dizzy and suddenly tired.

"Come on. Let's get you into an on call room. You need to lie down." He said guiding me into a room. I laid down in the bed and the last thing I remember was slipping into blackness.

-

"Payton, you look exhausted. How long have you been working?" Derek asked me. I liked Derek. He was like a brother, extremely protective and always making sure I was ok.

"Well um, I got here at 11 last night and then I started running labs at 3 this morning. I've been doing that all day. And its like what time, 2 pm? "

"Payton it's 4 am. You've been working 25 hours. Go home."

"No no, I'm fi-"

"Payton, go home." He said. I scoffed and went outside to get in my car. I sped home and dove straight into bed.

-

I woke up to my own labored breaths. My throat was raw from where I'd undoubtedly been screaming into the pillow. I hadn't had a night terror since I'd been brought to the hospital but recently they had started coming back. I'd had 3 already in the past 5 days. Luckily, I'd trained myself to scream into a pillow and not out loud.

I couldn't get a hold of my breathing so I stood up and crept downstairs. I sat down on the floor and opened one of the cupboards.

"Payton?" I heard a voice ask after about 20 minutes of being downstairs.

"Oh Derek I'm so sorry I didn't mean to wa-"

"What are you doing?"

"I umm.. I had a panic attack and to calm myself down I came down here. I've always had OCD and when the panic attacks started I found that the best way to help them is to focus on organizing something. Pots and pans have always worked the best." I said shyly.

He sat down next to me. "Talk to me."

"Pardon?"

"Talk to me. I want you to just sit here and talk to me. We can talk about anything, but whatever it is, focus on it. Drown yourself in the conversation. Talk to me." He said.

"Umm alright." I said and we began to talk. Eventually after I'd organized all of their cupboards, we moved to the couch and I ended up falling asleep there.

"Goodnight, Payton." He kissed my temple and went back upstairs.

Here's a shitty chapter for you. I have the next couple chapters written and I'm debating whether to post them separately or just say screw it and do it all at once. Lemme know