Asylum Mental Institution (TW and TVD)

Chapter 15

1666.

The numbers repeat in my head. Lydia's small whisper, Stiles' face drowning with remorse and Kai's drained eyes every time I brought up Bonnie. It was him. It had to be.

Part of me is relieved, Stiles didn't hurt Bonnie, it wasn't him. The other part wishes it was him because that way everything Kai had told me would have been true. It's selfish to not want the truth. When you wish for a false reality in hopes that it will make you feel better in the moment, you ruin the idea of feeling something real in the long run. I wanted to trust Kai's words, it was easier to believe them even if he lied but I knew it wasn't right.

"Kat.." I look at Lydia, her hand is wrapped onto the edge of the bed and she's leaning towards me to make eye contact with me. She's waiting for a response but I'm not sure I have one.

"I- ," my voice cuts off. I look down and force my eyes away from the numbers on my palm.

"It wasn't him.." Lydia whispers. "It wasn't Stiles." Her eyes soften and tears fall onto her cheeks. "I wanted it to be him, I wish it was.."

An understanding but selfish look holds us together. It isn't fair to Stiles but for our own selfish reasons we don't want to acknowledge the truth. Lydia lost Allison and I've been played once again.

"What do we do?" Lydia asks. I shrug my shoulders and get up putting Kai's tag onto the bed. Lydia sits with her legs crossed staring at me as I walk to the other side of the dorm.

"Kat," she whispers.

"I don't know!" I scream and she flinches. I turn to her and give her an apologetic look. My mouth opens to say it but nothing comes out.

"I want him to die." Lydia says. She says it low enough for only me to hear and the words shock me.

"Lydi-"

"No! He should die!" She yells. It doesn't take much to understand who she's talking about. I can see how hurt she is and how scared she is of Stiles. He meant something to her, she loved him and he killed her Best friend. She may never recover from that. I want her to be okay, but the only way she'll be okay is if Stiles is gone. But I can't let Stiles go when he didn't hurt Bonnie, when it appears to have been Kai who tried to kill her.

"Lydia..," I put my hands on her shoulders. "We have to be honest." She shakes her head 'no' and I pull her into my arms. She cries softly into my body and I look up into the cell wondering what the hell I'm gonna do.

...

Lydia falls asleep on my bed. I don't have the heart to move her since this is really the first time I've seen her sleep. My mind is awake swarming with thoughts. I hide Kai's name tag under my pillow hoping to figure out what to do with it later. It had to be him. It had to be Kai who hurt Bonnie. But why was Stiles in the bathroom with Bonnie? Why were his hands full of blood? There was terror in his eyes, he was afraid of what he had done.

I shift in my bed and Lydia moves closer towards me. Her hair is spread out across the pillow, she looks peaceful. I wonder if that's what she'll look like once Stiles' gone.

It's hard loving someone who has hurt you inevitably, who has broken you indescribably.

How can I even think of letting them hurt Stiles when I believe he is innocent?

...

The next day drags by. The cafeteria is quiet, everyone is afraid to look at each other for too long. Lydia doesn't eat, Malia ends up taking her mashed potatoes and dry strawberries. I push some of my food onto Lydia's plate but she won't look me in the eye. I sigh and look towards the door waiting for something, anything, to happen.