Invisible

The Beginning

I'm not gonna be the type of person who is consistently in a bright, cheery mood every day. I won't update regularly. Forgive me.  

My name is Chloe. No, I am not creating a character. The main character of my life is myself, just as the main character of your life is you. People say the world doesn't revolve around a single person, and yes, this is true. But our worlds, our own personal lives revolve around us, and anyone who denies this fact is lying to you.  

I am like so many other people in that I am a complex person. Human beings in general are complicated. If humanity were a gigantic jigsaw puzzle, every person would be a piece, yes? But humanity cannot be a puzzle without including each person's multiple selves. I am not just a girl. I am a girl who dances, a girl who reads too many books, a girl who listens to classical music and eighties rock and artists nobody's ever even heard of, a girl who is afraid to talk to people so she writes to them instead. I am all these people and more, and you have to first solve my individual puzzle to create my piece of humanity's puzzle. 

Now, maybe I'm just incredibly lazy, but it seems awfully difficult to solve each person's puzzle to put together the puzzle that is humanity. Imagine finding every single aspect of who you are, and repeating that process a few billion times. And then you're done the first step!

Like I said - too much work.

But as you read, you will slowly learn about each part of me. Dance, music, my family, my friends, school, my past. I am baring my soul to you, whoever you are. 

I've noticed I am always more open online. I am such a trusting person, even though I know I shouldn't be. For all I know, I've just given you all the information you need to murder me in my sleep. But honestly, anyone who looks for murder victims on wattpad should consider that anyone can lie about anything. This website is made for writing, and fiction is so much easier to write. It's easier to write yourself into an imaginary universe than drown in reality. 

The first thing you should know about me is that I am constantly trapped in my mind. There is never a time when I am not thinking of things that either I shouldn't be thinking of, don't want to think of, or don't have the energy to think of. I'll be sitting in class, trying to learn about intergovernmental organisations or quadratic expressions or whatever, and suddenly I start thinking about choreography for a recently discovered song or a scene that I so wish I knew how to paint. 

Doctors call it attention deficiency. I take the pills, and sure, I get my work done, but I'm still trapped. I'll be up for hours at night, thinking everything that I didn't think earlier that day. 

 I need to talk to Ms. Carter about reserving the auditorium for my show in a few weeks. 

I should put a turning combo here. I wish I were better at turning, fouettes would look amazing when the last chorus hits.

Do I have a chemistry test or an English quiz tomorrow? 

I wish I could paint. I would finally be able to show everyone else these breathtaking things that I dream of before I fall asleep.  

And so on. 

Because of this, my writing may seem a little jumpy at times. I apologise in advance. It's very difficult to write a complete description of what I'm seeing when my mind has already moved past that thought. For you, I'll do my best to keep my train of thought on the track and below the speed limit. 

No promises. 

I know this is short, but it's just the beginning. There is so much more just around the corner.