Invisible

The Future

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like the whole world has these unattainable expectations of success and perfection?

I just turned fifteen. But since I started high school, all of my teachers have been asking what we plan on doing in college, and later in the future. They always look so disappointed when I say I want to major in dance, and hopefully join a ballet company after college. Like they expected me to say I want to be a dentist, when I've spent my life dancing? They say, "You could be anything in the world, if you just put some effort into it!" Like I don't put any effort into dance, because that comes naturally. Obviously. They ask if I've ever considered psychology (yes), or what if you looked into writing? I know how much you love to write (I do, but I'm not very good). No, bitch. I said I want to dance, so I'm gonna dance. Fuck off.

Anyways, they're totally right. I could be anything I want. But I'm fifteen. Just two years ago, I wanted to be a makeup artist. Two years before that, I had my heart set on forensic criminology. I'm still so young, and everyone expects me to be certain of what I'm doing with my life? 

"No, of course not," they'll rush to explain, afraid they pissed me off (which they kinda did, but I'm not gonna tell them that), "but you should be preparing for the future."

Right. The future. Something I'm starting to discover is that when people say the future is now, they don't realise the depth in their words. The future is now because thirteen year old girls in high school are taking IB classes to prepare for college, even though they don't know what they plan on doing in college and they certainly don't want to think about growing up. The future is now because  my cousin, who just turned eleven, is asking me about my IB and AP classes, trying to figure out if they would help her get into Princeton. She's eleven.  The future is now because my mother is telling her fourth grade students that they'll need to know algebra in high school, because high school algebra is going to help you at university. The future is now because we've given up on the present. Today got boring five years ago. They had already planned it out, checked it off the list of Things To Do To Be Successful. The future, though, that's important. We need to make the future our top priority. 

So we sacrifice our happiness and work towards this vision of the future we want, white picket fence and new cars. And when we get there, we'll realise that while we were working so hard on the future, we forgot about the present. We forgot to enjoy our youth for what it was, and we won't have any memories to tell our grandkids. It'll be "when I was in high school, I would stay up for days to study before an exam," it'll be "please, do yourself a favour and make mistakes."

Because we need to live. We need to have adventures and wake up feeling sore muscles and know we accomplished something the day before. We need to do stupid shit like get wasted and sing horrible renditions of Can't Help Falling In Love to our exes over the phone at three in the morning. We need to drive out into the middle of nowhere and watch the sunset and stay up for the sunrise. We need to be young while we can. Fuck responsibility and smart goals for the future. I only get to be young once. 

So to everyone thinking that the future is top priority - fuck you. I'm gonna dance in the rain, and sing loud and terribly, and fall in love recklessly, without abandon, and without regrets. While you're making a resume and interning at your dad's office, I'm making memories and learning about life through experiences. 

And to everyone whose parents want you to become a lawyer or some shit and make a million bucks a year - if you wanna go that route, by all means, go for it. But do it because you want to, not because you feel required to. 

And to everyone else - expectations are not reality. Live for yourself. Be happy. Fall in love, break hearts, and have your heart broken. Don't ever apologize for being yourself. You can't change the lives of everyone around you, but you can change your own life, and really, that's the only one that matters in the long run.