different ▸ m.c.

eleven

Michael's POV

I look out my window to see Allie and her mum coming home. I wish I could run out of my house and to her. I want nothing more than to be able to talk to her. When I talk to her, I feel normal. She makes me happier and lifts my spirits.

But now I can't talk to her. I can't risk it. And everyday the voices get stronger, urging me to talk to her. And everyday, she gets sadder. Wondering what she did wrong to make me avoid her. She hasn't done anything wrong though. She could never do anything wrong.

It's been almost a week since I've talked to her and I'm slowly going insane. I miss her laugh and her smile. I miss the little rants she goes on and the way her eyes light up when she talks. I miss the way she doesn't think I'm a freak and treats me like a normal person. I miss how no matter how hard I try to keep my walls up, she finds a way to tear them down.

No one has cared that much about me. No one has tried that hard for me. It feels good that someone actually cares. She won't for much longer though. If I don't talk to her, she'll forget about me. She's making more friends everyday and soon she'll forget about the little freak who lives across the road.

"Michael!" My mum calls me.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs. "Yes?"

"We're going over to the Robins again." She smiles and my heart drops.

"Mum! No!" I practically yell.

"Why not?" She asks, placing a hand on her hips.

"I can't." I run a hand through my hair.

"I thought you guys were friends." She sighs.

"I can't have friends! People just get hurt, Mum. Luke wasn't even my friend and he got hurt! I can't do this." I pace the floor.

"Well Allie hasn't gotten hurt has she? You've been friends with her for over a month now. Maybe she won't get hurt."

"That's not how it works. They make it seem like it's safe but it's not. It never is."

"Michael, I hate seeing you like this. You have to talk to people, you need to have friends." My mum grabs my shoulders and shakes me slightly.

"I can never be normal so why even try?" I ask quietly.

Her eyes soften. "I'm sorry for this Michael. I am. But Allie is a nice girl. She's smart and beautiful. I know you like her. Nothing has happened to her yet so maybe she's safe. But please, we were invited over as well as some other families. Just one night won't kill anyone."

I sigh. "Just tonight. I probably won't talk to anyone but okay. For you, Mum"

"Thank you, sweetie." My mum smiles. "You know I want people to be as safe as you do but I just think you need to socialize."

"I understand." I nod.

---

Hiding in the bathroom for an hour isn't very fun. It's boring and just plain weird. I can't go out there though. Not with these people.

I know both of the people my age that are here. Sam, Allie's friend, is here but I don't mind her.

It's Ashton that I mind. I can't talk to him, I can't look at him. I just can't.

I sigh placing my head in my hands when I hear the bathroom door open. Shit, I thought I locked it.

Allie walks in and locks the door behind her.

"I thought I locked it." I say softly.

"You did. I just picked the lock. I knew you were in here being anti social." She sits next to me on the bathroom floor.