Is he the one?

pangalawa

As days passing by my feelings for him is getting stronger. He always makes my day happy every time I have the chances to talk and see him. I thought it will always be like that until one day, I saw him smiling and looks like he's waiting for someone. My smile also faded when I found out that he's looking for my girl classmate. They're going out for a date. Ouch!! I've lost all my energy that day. At home, can't helped but my tears suddenly flowing in my cheeks. It seems like my first heart break ever and he even doesn't know that.

But still I still like him though they keep seeing each other. I just told to myself that she was so lucky(the one he's dating now). I have a lot of qualities that I really liked about this person. He was simple unlike other guys whose focusing always about their outward appearance and how much they have to gain popularity or attention. But him, I can see his contentment and his smile makes him so handsome already. He's not bragging out about his grades compared to us, you know I'm one of those with an average one. He's smart and really excelled at school. The one thing I noticed was he's a real humble.

And I wished also that perhaps he would be my boyfriend. All I can see about him was perfect. I admired him so much, obviously the way I described him. Because of that admiration, I was so afraid that he might discover my feelings towards him. So as the semester break approaching, I've started to slowly forgetting about him. I've tried my very hard to keep busy and of course to be not temped in visiting his facebook account. And I think It was effective 'cause he's out of my mind now. Finally!!!! I was confident, actually very confident that my romantic feelings to him already vanished.

Then, classes arrived...I saw him....

my heart is pumping and beating fast!

NO!!!!!!

I thought I forget him.........

I failed..

So that's it, it's like a circle again. Liking him secretly and hiding it from him for a year now. But contentment strikes me, because I'm still happy whenever he's around and we're friends.

No one can replace him in my heart, that's what my belief for ages,'til I got to know him well. We have times to talk of course as good friends always doing. I found out that we have different perspectives in life that I thought we're similar. But I was wronged. He's not that perfect and no one does. I just have realized something that the things I valued the most were not really important to him. I look up to him too much as an ideal guy that every girls wishing for. I figured out that he's not the right person for me. But I never regretted liking him at the first place because he became my inspiration in my studies to get high scores and made me at least happy. 

It was three years ago, since I finally forget my feelings to this guy. As I go back to those days I've learned that we always have first love and a heart break. I was sixteen the first time I met him and my feelings endured 'til 18. My teenage love story that he never knew I was liked him for two years. So he's successful now, no wonder. Having a great job but I don't know if he's in a relationship. The girl once he dated was happily married now and I'm so happy for her because we became good friends also. And me I'm still waiting for the Mr. right. Instead of finding the right one and qualities I like about guys, I am striving to be the right person. I can feel it, there will be:)

                         Aside from that, I also believe in forever, that love can lasts until eternity.