Reflections of the Past

Chapter one

 Dedicated to Bambi, Jerry, Nemo and Zainy who took a chance on that awkward little girl and taught her to love all sides of herself. And to my Gamma who is pretty awesome too!

When people talk about their very first memory, it isn’t unrealistic to assume it's set around the time they were five or six. That’s not the case with me, however. My first memory is from the day I turned thirteen and I remember nothing—absolutely nothing—from before this time. 

I've always wondered why this had happened to me. A therapist had once told me that I was still suppressing the shock I'd felt at my mother's death by blocking out her entire existence. Maybe. But it seems unrealistic for me to still be suffering from trauma brought on due to the sudden inexistence of someone I don't even remember the existence of. 

Chapter one:

It was sometime around the ninth grade and the time Cass started at her second school of the year that she started to adopt personas that would divert the rumors that constantly surrounded her. But it never worked. She could be the chirpy bubblegum popping cheerleader as she'd then chosen in ninth grade or the helpful teacher’s pet  she’d been in her last year of high school…she would still always be the rich girl with the spooky eyes and the dead mother. Still, she’d done it for so long that she found it hard to break out of the habit and that’s what she was doing as she stood frozen outside the hall’s doors…trying to decide the Cass she was going to be in her freshman year of college. 

She'd been standing in the same spot for the past ten minutes, just staring at the massive Community Hall's doors. In an attempt to distract herself from the task of actually opening those doors and stepping into her new life, she looked herself over for the millionth time in the mirrored wall across from her.

She wore a silky ankle-length a-line dress. Strapless and black in color, it accentuated her slim figure and brought out the creamy color of her skin. Her dark auburn hair was loose, falling in long curls at the base of her back. It was usually styled with a long fringe shadowing her eyes (or even completely coving one or the other when the situation demanded) but today, it was swept away from her face because taking its job in the cover-Cass’s-eyes department was...drum roll please...a brilliant golden sequined mask. 

The college had decided that to begin the college experience on a friendly note, all freshmen had to attend a mandatory welcoming party and that for this party to be an event in which the students got to truly know each other without the 'weight of social prejudices', it was to be a masquerade ball. 

She started fidgeting with her hair and thought maybe this thing wasn't worth going to after all. Who would even miss her and they would never know she hadn't actually attended…She’d already signed the form at the entrance. She could leave. Right?

No you absolutely cannot, Cass! It’s not like they’ll even know it’s you…that’s what the masks are for, genius! So just grow a pair and open the freaking door! 

She knew her inner-Cass was right. Harsh, maybe, but right. So she shook herself and just as she was reaching her hand up to push the door open, she heard hurried steps behind her and turned just in time to have a stranger crash in to her.

It was a boy-a man, the inner-Cass corrected-and he was currently bent over trying to gather the many pieces of paper he had spilled on the floor--sheet music, she realized upon closer inspection.

“Oh I'm sorry 'bout that," he said, looking up, his eyes hidden behind a simple black mask, "I was in a hurry. My name's Alex by the way...seems only fair I introduce myself since I practically barreled myself into this conversation." He offered her a hand with an easy smile as a follow-up.