A Pocket full of Broken Dreams

Chapter 1: I'm falling for you

    The air was suana hot but my body felt cold. A bead of sweat rolled from my forehead down my cheeks. The sun beamed down on me like it was giving me special attention. I roamed around the high-school campus, the grass leaving small wet marks on my tan khakis. It was still wet from the rain the night before. I had my head buried deep in the pages of the red social studies book. The sounds of students jumbled around in my head. When my mind was yanked back to reality I heard light conversation. Most of it was the usual gossip from the popular girls who sat under the giant Oak tree in the school centre. Other was talk of sports from the buffed up jocks. They were pumped up with so much testosterone they were basically the embodiment of what it meant to be a "man". To be fair though, they also had so much juice coursing through their veins they’re blood might as well been made up of steroids. But we weren’t really allowed to talk about the “activities” of the players on our sports teams. Although, it wasn’t all bad as Dean Winchester was the star QB of the football team. And I had to admit he did look rather dashing in his red and white varsity jacket. The jacket had a white “C” resting on the chest of it. I would always joke that the “C” stood for Castiel. My friends would roll their eyes and I’d laugh as I could never really admit how I felt about him, but I’m pretty sure they knew.

He was perfection. Like what the Greek God statues were modeled after. He had candy-apple green eyes that would twinkle when the light hit them just right. His smile was so sweet it looked like it was made up of cotton candy. It was like a diabetics guilty pleasure. He had light dimples that sunk into his face and became more prominent the harder he smiled or laughed. And his voice. God that voice, it was what dreams were made of. It was soft with harsh undertones and when he needed it to be it was rough and mean like a growl. It drove me crazy the power he had over me, even when he wasn't trying. All I wanted to know was what it felt like for his sun-kissed tan skin to intertwine with mine. As his nude cherry lips crashed onto mine like a wave on the shore. Or what it felt like to wake up in the morning and before I saw the sun I saw those emerald green eyes that were always a shade lighter in the morning sunlight. What it would feel like to go to drive through movies and sit under the stars that wouldn't even look like they were shining because of how much light illuminated from Dean’s eyes. I wanted to know what it felt like to meet his parents and walk down the aisle. What it felt like to hear him say “I do” as tears ran down his soft skin. To know what it felt like to be all he thinks about, to be the beat in his heart, to be the reason he can’t sleep and he’s up at 3 am wondering if I felt the same way about him. Or what it felt like to be the Good Morning, Good Night text he would send every day and night. I just wanted to know what it felt like for Dean Winchester to be mine.

I imagined Dean in a tuxedo. The thought made me chuckle considering Dean’s default outfit was a plaid flannel, dark blue jeans, brown sometimes alternating to a darker brown or black boots, and a dark brown leather jacket that wrapped around his body like a hug. But, something about the black tux paired with his short brown hair made him look even better than normal. His head turned to me and his eyes began to welt up with tears as I walked down what seemed like a forever lasting aisle. My black form fitting tux getting tighter around my skin the closer I walked to Dean as my body filled up with anxiety and emotion. I reached the end where Dean was standing. He could barely talk, he was so choked up from tears. “Cas” his syrupy voice uttered out. Without thinking like it was instinct I clasped my fingers into his and stuttered out the words “I do”. Again his voice rang out. “Castiel”. “I do Dean...I” the words fell from my lips. My eyes shot open as I could feel the awkwardness building in the atmosphere. Back in reality I saw a pair of grassy green eyes staring back at me. I recognised them right away as none other than Dean Winchester’s. I must have been so engulfed in my daydream I hadn’t noticed the man of my dreams walking towards me.

I stared at him like a drooling fangirl seeing her favourite band in concert. He looked back at me and flashed me that award-winning-blue-ribbon Dean Winchester smile of his. His teeth were so perfect (adding on to the previous list of flawless perfections he had), they looked like they came straight from a Crest toothpaste commercial. I had never wanted to be a mouth so bad in my life. The silence between us dragged on until Dean spoke up. He rubbed the back of his neck and said “So…..um about those notes?”. “Oh yeah right” I said as I frantically searched around for my brown satchel bag carrying the notes Dean had so generously asked for. “Um…..I’ll give you them…...as soon as I find that Damn bag”. Dean must have noticed how badly I was struggling. He reached his hand out and grabbed the leather latch that wrapped around my shoulder down to my satchel. “You mean this bag?” he said with a slight smile on his face.

I glanced down and dumbfoundedly stared at the bag. The only thought running through my mind was Get a grip Cas this may be your only chance. “Oh Yeah…I swear if my head wasn’t attached I’d lose that too” I jokingly said as I pulled out the yellow notebook from my bag. Dean chuckled lightly and his eyes twinkled with joy. My heart started to pound and my body felt hollow. It was like I was weightless. Did Dean just laugh at one of my corny jokes that even my friends passed off as cringeworthy.

Just as I was about to hand Dean the book a jock football player can barreling towards me. It was Dick Roman. His name fit perfectly as he sure as hell was a dick. He was about 3x my height and weight. Which wasn’t hard as I’m only 5’6 and 120 pounds. He slammed into me with massive force and I toppled to the ground like snow in an avalanche. Him on the other hand merely stumbled over me and uttered “Watch it nerd” as he waved a football in the air and jogged back over to his little clique. I sat in the grass, my tan khakis now stained with green like they had been tie-dyed. I heard the group of football players laughing and snickering in the distance, but I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with it. A wave of pain washed over me. Dean dropped to the ground to help me up. A grave deal of concern on his face. I shoed his hand away as I tried to look like I was in the least amount of pain possible. “Well it looks like I fell for you” I managed to muster up another corny joke, trying to change the mood back to it’s light hearted nature. I thought for sure Dean would just up and walk away. But he didn’t. In fact his previous expression of worriedness quickly changed to happiness as a smile crept onto his face. Following his smile was a laugh. Or what I assumed was a laugh as it just sounded like Angels to me.

That got me thinking though. What if God had commanded for me and Dean to meet. Dean scooped me up in his chiseled arms. His chest felt warm.I fit into his arms like a puzzle piece and I knew I wanted to be there forever, I knew this was where I belonged. Before I knew it the dream was gone as Dean put me down and I landed back on my feet. It had only been seconds, but to me it felt like I had spent an eternity cradled in the warmth of Dean. “Hey...I'm sorry about what Dick did to you Cas. He’s a real son-of-a-bitch, but the kid’s got one hell of an arm so you know. Anyway, you’re not as weird and geeky as I thought you be from the way the cheerleaders described you.” I rolled my eyes in my head at that comment. Those cheerleaders were complete assbutts. “And hey, maybe if I’m lucky I could swing by your house and find out about whatever else you got swimming in that head of yours”. Dean smiled as he finished speaking and I could practically feel myself melting. It was something about that oldest Winchester boy that I couldn’t quite place my finger on. Maybe I knew him in a past life somehow. Maybe he was a damsel in distress and I gripped him tight and raised him from his perdition. I probably fell just as hard for him then as I do now. Which would explain why we feel so right for each other. I didn’t know, but whatever it was, it wanted us to be together.

Before I got completely lost in thought, I could have sworn I saw those green eyes glance back at me as Dean got farther away. It was only for a moment but that was all I needed to know that Dean might be falling for me just as hard.