✖The Asylum✖ |H.S.|

[2]

Sapphire's POV

* 2 weeks later *

It was the middle of the night and Harry was sleeping in bed and he looked so peaceful. I don't know what has been up with me lately but I have started to have weird feelings towards him that I want to feel but at the same time I don't want to feel it. I pulled out my journal that I have had here for six years today.

Day 2190 January 18,2014,

So I started this journal when the people here actually kind of cared about me and they gave me this my first day here, and I have been writing in this ever since I got it. And also  today marks my six year anniversary of being here in hell. It is also the day that Harry and I have been roommates for two weeks and I'm thinking to myself that I should tell him my story. My story of pain and suffering and self hate. The FULL story that I have never told anyone before, not even the people who work here who told me to tell them, I just lied to them even though I knew my Grandma told them. But I feel like he deserves to know because he told me about himself and how he was depressed and went crazy. It wasn't anything close to what mines about ,but I still think he should know. I'll write later, bye

I closed my journal and slid it under my bed where Harry couldn't find it if he decided to look for it. I tried to sleep  but I couldn't so I decided to see if Harry was awake.

"Harry?" I said with my voice barely above a whisper. I repeated it two more times, each time getting louder.

He turned over, "Yeah, you okay?" he said worryingly.

"I just can't sleep."

"Come're." he said lifting up his blanket and turning so I could sit with him. I walked over there and sat by him and he told my I could lay my head on his lap and I took the offer. I laid on my back and we looked at each other in the eyes.

"Harry, can I tell you something?" I asked him.

"Anything babe." I got chills when he called me babe and that made him pull the covers over me even further up.

"Um, I-I figured since you have told me all about you I thought it would be the right thing do tell you all about me."

"You don't have to if you don't want to Sapphire, you know that right?"

"Yeah I know, but I want to."

"Okay you can tell me as much as you want Hun." I nodded and sat up so I was at one end of the bed and he was at the other end and we were facing each other.

"I'm just going to start with random things about me and then I'll go on about how I got here, do you think that's a good way to start?"

"Yeah." he said and sat up strait.

DIS MAY BE SENSITIVE TO U IDK SO DONT KILL MEH PLZ

"Well I was born on September 2nd,1995 and I was born to my Dad, Mom and my older brother who was fifteen at the time. And by the time I was three, my brother left for college and left me and my mom with my dad. About two years after my brother moved out my father started getting pretty physical to me and my mom, and at the time I couldn't do anything about it because I was only five. And by when I was seven, my father molested me and raped me and I have always had nightmares ever since then and there was nothing that helped me, and my mom never took me to therapy because she thought if my dad would find out, he would do something worse than abusing us." I said and finally looked up at Harry and his eyes were watery. He hinted for me to continue.

"By the time I was ten, my father murdered my mom and he was sent to jail, but before that he did even more harm to me then physical. He brought down my self-esteem a lot even though I barely had any in the first place so he made everything worse. I started to cut myself and at eh time I wasn't in school so I had barely any education besides reading. I thought self harm was the only was to relive my pain and by ten years old I had thought about suicide because my father told me many times that I was worthless and I wasn't needed in the world and that everyone would be better without me. When he murdered my mom I remember him tying me to a chair and making me watch everything. My mom screamed at me 'I love you honey, you'll be free soon' and my dad would scream at me every time he stabbed her, 'THIS IS YOUR FALT' and 'YOU'RE THE REASON FOR THIS' and not until a while ago, I believed it." When I looked back at him he was crying and I felt bad. Just making him cry and all I'm doing is telling him my life story. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and I continued.

"Well after he, killed my mom he was arrested for abuse and murder charges and that was when my grandma took me in and she has tried to raise me the best she could but with my past she couldn't handle me when I went crazy so she sent me here, but that's for later on. After my grandma took me in I was so sensitive to everything and I still am but not as much. If a man would touch me I would have a breakdown and cry so I started online school where I caught up with where I should have been for my age. Then I turned crazy. I tried to kill my grandma's dog and would punch and kick things and I tired to even stab my cousin while I was sleep walking.Later on when I was thirteen, I came here and I have been here ever since and I was still self harming and I would sometimes skip dinners here because of all the things my dad said to me in the past still haunted me. That time in my life was when I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. When I was seventeen I started randomly having panic attacks and would stay up all night sitting in the corner of this room and just talk to myself and basically, was just crazy as ever. And actually today is my six year anniversary of being in this place. And these past six years have been the worst six years of my life and I don't even know how I survived but I'm glad I did."               I said and looked up at him. He reached his hand out at me and wiped the tears that I had on my face and pulled me down on top of him and we laid there and I looked at him and he pulled me in for a kiss. I hesitated at first but I kissed him back and I shocked myself with that. I don't know where the little trust in him came from but it was something that was going to grow bigger and bigger and at that moment, I new I had feeling for Harry Styles. The crazy and psychotic boy band member, but he's mine.

Heyyyy everyone!! I hope you all like this chapter and I know it's sad but don't worry the story will get better and happier I promise! You'll just have to wait a couple chapters ;) Okay so thanks for reading and Happy Martin Luther King Day! Love you all BYEEE~Brooke