There is no rewind button on life, no fast-forward or pause. No matter how many times Bowser Joseph wishes there was, it wasn't possible. It's never going to be possible for him to live his life over or fix his mistakes. It's never going to be possi...
this idea randomly came to me in study hall, so enjoy.
--Bowser's P.O.V--
There were many times in my life where I was just sick and tired of living. After Alexandria disappeared, I felt like the world had nothing left to offer me. The love of my life was gone and if I only insisted on walking her home that night, maybe she would still be breathing. Maybe her parents would still have their first-born daughter. Maybe it was all my fault.
All of my life I felt like an outsider. All of my life I was different from everyone else. I never understood why I had to be the child with all the mental disorders. Benji didn't end up being bipolar. Emma didn't suffer from depression. Severine didn't experience night terrors. All of that landed with me. Why?
However, the suicidal thoughts were the worst. I never felt like I was in control of my own mind. I never felt at peace in my own mind and that was the one place where I should have felt safe. But I didn't. I was fearful all the time. I feared being alone because I knew, someday, I would get my wish. Death would welcome me with open arms.
Suddenly my eyes were open and I was looking down at my black converse. I slowly lifted my head to glance around the white space that seemed to ingulf me. It reminded me of the scene with Harry Potter where he faked died and spoke to Dumbledore.
My mind was racing and my heartbeat was quickening, but what really terrified me was the sound of my name that came from behind me. "Turn around."
I flipped around and my eyes widened in absolute shock as I saw who was in front of me.
"Alexandria?" My voice wavered slightly as my eyes took her in for the first time since she went missing.
"Hello, Bowser," she said, softly. I was blown away from how breathtaking she looked. Her hair was in perfect curls and she just liked radiant. She looked just like I remembered her.
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I was at a loss for words, but after a few seconds I managed to stutter something out. "I'm dead, aren't I? That's why I'm seeing you. That's why you are here. I'm dead."
Alex gave me a sympathetic smile. "Yes, Bowser, you are. You died saving your brother."
I ran a hand through my hair in bewilderment. "How did I die? All I remember is letting go of the cable. I don't even remember hitting the water."
"Your back broke upon impact. You were killed instantly. You felt no pain," she explained. "You were gone just like that." She snapped her fingers.
I could only imagine Benji's emotions as I let go of the cable; as I plummeted to my death. I could remember hearing him scream my name over and over, but I willed myself not to listen as I fell. After all, I killed myself so he could live.
My mouth opened, but I quickly closed it, trying to find the right words to say. Apparently even in death I was able to feel overwhelmed. I took a deep breath, which I was surprised that I could still do considering the fact that I had no heartbeat.
"What about my family? My mother? Benji? Hanna? What is going to happen to them?" I asked, my voice cracking at the end. The thought of them mourning me forever scared me. I didn't deserve their grief.
"Death is hard on everyone, Bowser, especially if someone dies young like you and I. Everyone handles it differently. However, they will learn to cope. They will learn to heal," Alexandria told me. "Death is not a good thing, but there are some things that make it a little bearable."
I raised my eyebrows at her. "What do you mean?"
"You feel an overwhelming sense of the peace the moment you accept your death. That type of peace is something a living human will never possess. And, you are able to see what the world will be like without you. I am able to see my parents and that's how I know that they are in the process of healing."
"But what my family and friends? I just now died. They are still grieving over me. How do I know when or if the grieving stops?"
Alexandria grinned at me. "We are able to see anyone, Bowser. We can see anyone's past, present, or future."
"Do you mean that you can actually see how everybody's life turns out? You are able to see what happens to them?" I asked, wonder in my voice.
A smile stayed on my girlfriend's lips as she responded. "Benji couldn't stand the thought of being in the coast guard without you. He would have flashbacks whenever he was sent out a mission. He decided to leave the coast guard six months after you passed away. Unbelievably enough, he marries Hanna. They name a child after you and although they both will forever mourn you, they know how to live without you."
"Your mother and father never fully get over your death, but they stay focused on your siblings. And no, before you ask, they did not have anymore kids." A chuckle escaped my lips at that comment. "Emma ends up marrying Joseph Armstrong, who happens to be your mother's best friend's son. Candice and Koda grow up happy and healthy, but Candice refuses to ever play the piano again because it reminds her too much of you."
She took a deep breath. "And Hanna never stopped loving you. Even though she's married to Benji, her heart forever belongs to you and that is something that will never go away."
The misery in my heart seemed to lighten up as I learned that everyone I cared about turned out okay. Even after my death, life kept going on. That was truly my only wish in life.
I ran a hand through my hair, a heavy sigh leaving my lungs. I was still confused and overwhelmed with everything around me, but I knew what was happening was one hundred percent real. Alexandria was standing right in front of me, looking happier and healthier than ever.
My voice was barely above a whisper as a question I had been wondering for years finally left my lips. "Did it hurt, Alex? When you died?"
The brunette girl gave me a grimace. "You are lucky that you do not remember your death, Bowser. It is the most unpleasant feeling in the world."
I lifted my head to look in her eyes for the first time since she appeared. "Alex, what happens now?"
She reached her hand out towards me, a gigantic grin on her face. I gratefully took it and I finally felt like I was home.
"We promised each other forever and always, my love."
