How did I listen to such a jerk like him or even like him for that matter? Not much came good out of him. It was like a 20% good and 80% bad type of relationship and I could never leave it. I was stuck. He kept me there with that 20%. All of his mind games were on repeat, never changing, and I sat there knowing what I'm doing not able to figure out it was bad for myself and others. I wish I could let go.
Before him I wasnt huge friends with the girl he is dating until they started dating. And I have no idea why that would be. But she is the greatest sweatest girl Ive met in a long while, wouldnt ever let her go. Knowing him and what he could do and his dirty little secrets, I know for a fact she deserves so much better. But the thing is; is that no one can let him go unless they have the best self control. She loves him to death though and I would understand that if i was treated better. But I wasnt. I'd say my biggest mistakes were to be pulled in and be his friend and freaking remember that stupid username. Thats what changed everything, the username. I hate myself for remembering it, so much.
Dont get to close to him, dont let him say your cool and pretty because thats when you get sucked in. I bet you anything thats how he gets everyone. He finds one thing interesting about you and talks about it. Then an other thing and then an other and so on. Oh God. I have no idea what he had in common, maybe it was the music we liked and our hatred in people I dont know what it was that got him to me. But it got me there and I was sucked in.
We got closer over the Summer and he opened up to me. Never ending depression for him so that made me even more sucked in because I felt like I had to make him feel better. And he's still opening up to me. I know more secrets about him then most people and that kills me to keep it all in. "tbh I kinda regret meeting you."
this book is all over the place im sorry.
