The day started with a call, from my all time favorite person. Bailey had called me to see if I wanted to join her and her family on their boat. I agreed, for I didn't really have anything better to do. It was fun going out on the water, hearing it crash against the boat relaxes my mind and eases my regret. What regret? The regret of hanging out with someone who doesn't care about me..it's all fake. I don't like fake things. I'm not a fake person, I rarely wear makeup, I wear whatever the fuck I feel like, social standards be damned. So hanging out with someone who's the complete opposite is hard. Bailey is always wearing intense makeup, saying she's not pretty(when she is), and just overall being over dramatic. It's hard for me, I'm not the typical white girl and it's just not me. So I smile for a picture or two and try to get through it. But I mean, I'm hypocritical, so it's kinda better being out then staying home, reading and becoming more tried. That's why I spent my Fourth of July on a boat with fake people who pretend to care for a few hours and then forget about me till the next time they need to make other people sad and jealous. The fireworks were pretty but too loud, it always makes me sad when I see dogs crying and whining when their owners drag them out with them as they drink and watch fireworks. I would never do that, I just couldn't put my dog through that awful feeling. But I pretend to enjoy them as Bailey and her sister frantically record and take pictures of every fucking moment like they've never seen fireworks before and like they'll never see them again. I took a few but not too many, I mean what's the point it looks shitty from my phone and I'm most likely gonna see another firework in my lifetime. I'd rather enjoy the moment with my own eyes than behind a screen. Earlier in the night Bailey decided to have the good ole guy talk...but I never really like talking about people unless it's with Trick(Ashley). My relationship with Bailey had been more of a one-sided thing. She talks to me about all the drama and problems in her life and I try my best to help her and not offend her but she's very closed-minded. And I try to be very open-minded so when more perspectives aren't seen, it bothers me. But I can only ask of so much from people. Eventually I got to go home; instantly I text Trick. She's the only one I can tell anything, it's so easy with her. But for some reason I felt like she was off, like she need more then empty words. So I told her I loved her out of the blue...everyone needs someone to tell them that randomly. We all need that happiness, that human kindness of knowing someone else cares about you without you having to make them say it. And Ashley needed that, I could feel that...it's like we're Parabatai. Two halves of a whole, forever untied but in the end we "were fireworks that went off too soon".
