Voices (Vikturi)

Failure

Yuri's POV;

Second Place.

I didn't win...? I know that I should be more grateful that I have at least gave it my all and got second place but I cant help but feel like a total failure.

I try so hard but it seems like it wasn't good enough. At least Viktor will stay...right? He won't leave me. He wouldn't be that selfish. Or am I the selfish one to keep him behind from his career?

My head hurts. I sighed as we made it back to Japan after the finals. Viktor came along, of course but I got a bad feeling that he wouldn't stay for that long.

"What's the matter?" a deep voice came through my ear. I turn to face my coach and shakes my head. "N-Nothing! I'm just tired, that's all." I gave him a weak smile. Viktor didn't seem to buy it but didn't push anymore questions.

I'm glad. I didn't want to tell him. I went to my room and locked the door shut behind me. I didn't want anyone to bother me. I slide down of the door frame and hold my knees, tears started to fall down and next thing I knew, I couldn't stop crying.

It hurts. My whole body is in pain. My heart is in pain. I let out a soft sobbed, not wanting anyone to hear my cries. As much as I need help, no one could take this feeling away.

Useless. You have always been a failure pig. A useless failure. Crying like a little bitch. No wonder Viktor is going to leave you. You were nothing to him but a failure. You know what will make you feel better? If you grabbed a blade and rip that little dirty skin of yours.

A dark voice came through my ear, whispering all these words. The tears stop flowing as I listening to these dark voice. My body became numb. I didn't like how I feel, I want to feel! Is cutting the only thing that I need to do? Would it make me feel better?

"NO!" I whisper loudly to the voices and cover my ears, shutting my eyes tightly. "Go.. Go away! Leave me alone..."

Leave you alone? Ha! I will never. You worthless piece of shit should die! DIE YURI! NO ONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE A TOOL!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A TOOL!!! CUT YURI, CUT!!

"WHY SHOULD I?!"

The blade is your only friend. It will make you feel that sweet sweet relief. Its a drug that will make you feel better.

The ache of wanting to give in was so strong. I look down to my wrist and saw scars that I did in the past. Tears once again flow down, I miss that pain. The voices were right. What's the whole point of me being here? Maybe one cut will get these voice away from me... The pain will be over, right?

I quickly crawl to my bed and grabbed the blade that I hid under the mattress. I sighed but the tears wouldn't stop falling. I place the blade on my wrist and close my eyes.

DO IT YURI, CUT YOURSELF YOU FUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

The voices screamed at me, making me cry out as I slid my wrist and blood came running through. The voices continues to scream at me and I continue to cut all over my arm until it was all blood. After the last cut, my head began to spin around. I shake my head as the voice seems to disappear on me.

My head was pounding. I quickly grabbed a towel and clean up all the blood. I lost a lot of blood but I know I don't want to die.

I lay down my arm where all the wounds could feel the cool air. I sighed in relief.

This drug is exactly what I need.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I was doing this in class and well.. I didn't have much time lmao... I hope it was good enough for you guys to get excited for this series! I'm honestly excited and I want this to be emotional... I'm also sorry that Viktor wasn't in this chapter much but he will be in the next chapter! Love y'all!