Voices (Vikturi)

Scars

A/N: Most of this story will be Yuri's POV. I will state if it's someone else point of view.

Its been 2 weeks since my broke down.

The voices never went away, they continue to haunt me. They taunt me with words that I already that I am. Viktor stay close to me, I think he notice how different I'm acting but I don't want him to see how I am. I always stay in my room, I haven't skated in awhile and I haven't ate in a week. My family is starting to ask me questions but they can't know that I'm cutting. They can't know that the voices in my head are killing me in the inside. I don't want them to  worry.

I sighed as I got out of bed, it was still snowing but I knew that if I stay in bed any longer, Viktor will be pissed off. I promised that I will spend more time with him before he goes back to Russia. I put on my long sleeve shirt and a blue sweater on. After I grabbed my skates and fix myself up to not make it seem like I was crying. I slapped myself and put on a faked smile as I looked at a mirror.

The voices won't hurt me today, not today...

I shake my head and quickly got out of my room and gave a kiss to my mother before I left the house without any questions. I wasn't hungry.

I ran to the skate rink, didn't want to be any much late than I already am. As I made ,it to the entrance, I notice that Yuko wasn't there but another staff member  that knew me, I nodded at him before going to the locker room and change. I put on my skates. I sat on the bunch and sighed. I close my eyes as I looked down to the ground. My arms are killing me. I cut again last night. I been cutting ever since that day. It was a bittersweet feeling but I am so tired. I

I got up and finally went to the rink.

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"Yuri, you need to move your body! You look like a dancing corpse, what's wrong?"

Viktor frowned slightly as he testing my skills. I was breathing hard as I hold myself on the edge. I look at him and gave him a weak smile. "Viktor, I am fine. I just haven't been sleeping well lately." because of that damn voice. I should really give it a name.  "Let's do it one more time!"

I was about to turn to skate but until I feel a pain on my wrist, I flinched slightly as I look down and saw Viktor pulling me back with a serious face. "I'm serious, Yuri. You haven't been yourself lately. You haven't slept, ate, hell I hear you cry every night! Something's wrong."

I felt shame and anger building up to me, "I'm fine." I whisper as I look down to the ice. Viktor pulls me close and whisper in my ear. "You don't look fine to me."

Fine?  Ha! He only feels bad for you. You useless piece of shit. He doesn't really care on how you feel. You are weak!

"Stop.." I closed my eyes and felt tears going down my face. "I'm not going to stop Yuri. I care about you." Lies. "You are important to me." Lies. "I will always be with you." He will never love you. These are all lies.

Viktor wrapped his arms around me as  I cried. He wasn't suppose to break me this way. I love Viktor but I don't believe him. I don't deserve him.

"Viktor, we need to practice, please." I whimper softly, I don't want to think anymore. I just want to skate.

"I want to choose a different song. I don't want to worry about anything. I just want to skate." I looked up at his beautiful blue eyes, he looks down at me and smiles softly as he let me pick the song that I wanted to do. I need his attention. I need him to save me from the pain that I have right now. I need Viktor to know that I'm dying. I gave him a weak smile and grabbed his phone as I went on YouTube. I put on "Scars" by Papa Roach but the acoustic version. I skated to the middle on the rink and look down as the song begins to play.

I tear my heart open

I sew myself shut

My weakness is

That I care too much

The soft voice of the singer plays as I look up at Viktor. Look at me.

I began to move my body as I move around the rink. I close my eyes as I listen to the song. Then I felt an ache. I continue to move my body as I do a flip. I landed.

VIKTOR CAN'T SEE YOU NOW! HE WILL NEVER SEE THAT PAIN THAT YOU ARE CAUSING YOURSELF. yOU STUPID ASS! YOU ARE HOLDING HIM BACK!!! FAIL, FALL SHOW HOW WEAK YOU ARE!

The voices screamed at him that it cause me to fall during a flip. I quickly got up thought, trying to push the voices away from me and try to listen to the song.

I continue to move my body as I softly sing along with the lyrics. I quickly look at Viktor and saw the pain in his eyes. Why does it look like he is in pain? I shake my head quickly and focus on my movement.

You should never be alive. Die already.

I stopped and look down with wide eyes. I felt tears going down my face. It didn't some like the dark voice. It was Viktor's voice that said that. I started shaking. I felt warms wrapped around me and just notice that I fell to my knees.
"You are okay, you are going to be okay, Yuri." Viktor whispers softly to my ear as he tries to calm me down. Never in my life have I needed this hug until I felt his arms. I broke down crying.

This was the first time in my life that I let someone in.

I feel safe.

A/N: This was longer than I thought!! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. I will try to post more.