My Left Before Now

My Life Before Now.

     There was nothing better in the world then haveing a happy life. I always sat at the river bank waiting to see if anyone would come and pick me up to hang out or play. I sit there waiting day after day but no one ever come or just even text me or call. Everything just changed all of a sudden why does this happen. I used to have so many friends I would always have someone to hang out with day after day and never have a day alone unless I have plans with family. But now a days I have nothing to do just because of one stupied rumor! I hate my school so much, they make so much up about the new kids like " Oh, they moved here they were kicked out of there old school." I just hate these kids so much. Why do they have to do this to the new kids including me I never and anything against them or anything to make them hate me. I guess after that no one liked me eccept 3 loyal people who dont care about others past. I guess the rest was all me saying I had plans with family when I just wanted time alone but those moments were the best moments ever but they left me because of how many time I have done that I did not mean to make them hate me but all I want these days is someone to stand by my sides. But it never happens there is always that one person who is only with you to make them kinda look more popular but never stick around. But there are also the ones who want to be friends untill there is someone better or they have heard something bad about you even if its true or false. I miss the old days.
     I have to go back to school were everyone is going to judge me and never like me. I just put on a fake smile like everything is okay. But it isnt is it? I never had a good day after moving to this school is was all just nasty romers about me even if they were not true. There were people who hated me because I was new I will get used to that wont I? Everyday the smile I put on walking into school all fake all my friends were fake people even think im fake but im not I had a life before I moved here but my life will never last. Everyday i wonder how it feels to be normal is it better than being "fake"? I just dont want to deal with my school or anyone in it because they all hate me. I just cant deal with it anymore is there any way to fix this feeling of fake if there is i want to know. Fake is just a word people say no one puts on a fake smile people say lies i always put on a fake smile but then when i see that one person who actully lets my real smile show through they always mess it up. Heres to you, you were the one person who could change me i really wanted to be changed butvthat change happened for a few seconds then it was over. Over as in may never happen again till our eyes will soon meet and you will your you make my real smile show up the smile when i show my teeth i show who i am inside. But always when you have those people around you the one that spread those nasty roomers about me i guess u will believe them because you have to the most popular boy in school thinks im cool that is never going to happen. So i always just sit there thinking what i could do to make everything all better but nothing will fix what people have said about me even if they dont know me noth i just sit here wondering is their a was to make the pain go away?