Actors (Jalex)

Chapter Three~ All I Want

Title Credit: A Day To Remember

JACK'S POV

"Too many questions? Bullshit, Barakat!"

Shit. Shit. Shit.

What have I done? Oh fuck. Alex, I'm sorry.

Jack, shut up.

He can't even hear you right now.

"I-I..."

This situation was only getting worse, y'know, because I was tripping over my own fucking words.

Alex exhaled a ragged breath, ridding his face of the previous pissed-off expression he had on. He stepped closer to me, taking one of my shaky hands in his own,"Listen to me."

I nodded my head slowly, keeping my eyes on the kitchen tiles.

"I don't care if you are gay, you know I'm not homophobic... It's just... I..."

I did eventually lift my gaze, watching the concentration on his face.

Aw! He was trying to say anything that obviously wouldn't make this whole fucking scenario even more awkward.

"I'm not gay..." He finally finished his sentence, lifting his free hand to run it through his hair.

I shrugged my shoulders, hearing his words, but not listening to them.

Wait... He said he wasn't gay.

He didn't say he was straight.

Oh my god.

Alexander William Gaskarth.

Bi-sexual...

Seriously? Shut the fuck up!

Alex is straight. I don't know why I'm even getting my hopes up.

A couple of minutes must've passed because the next thing I felt was two fingers pushing my chin upwards. I quirked one of my bushy eyebrows, completely confused.

"You looked like you were catchin' flies." I briefly paused, mumbling 'oh' as I noticed a wide grin finding it's way onto his pretty little face.

ALEX'S POV

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I mean, I thought I was straight!

Twice in, what like, under an hour I had kissed the man who is supposed to be my best friend, my bro...

What the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah, I don't feel the same way towards Lisa anymore...

But I don't like dudes! At least I thought so. It just... the more I think about it... Jack is really hot.

No, Alex.

Don't do this to yourself. You already have everything you need?

I shook my head slightly, awakening out of my daze. I stepped close to Jack again, looping my arms around his neck. I held back the urge to giggle at the blush on the taller boy's cheeks.

So cute...

I didn't quite kiss him, but I leaned in close to his face so I could take in every small detail. The direction his stubble grew, the out of place hair on his right eyebrow, the small bump on the bridge of his nose.

Fuck.

He's going to be playing a huge part in my dreams tonight.

"Alex?" His voice came out as a cracked whisper, his eyes glueing with mine as he pulled away from me.

I dropped my hands back down to my sides, chewing at the inside of my cheek.

"Yes?" I added volume to my tone so that I didn't sound hurt.

"All I want is for you to be happy... And I feel... I feel like Lisa isn't making you happy...any...anymore..."

I watched as the faint lines on Jack's forehead creased. Knowing inside that he was probably right, but I was pushing that thought away.

I wanted to be with Lisa.

I don't want to be gay. I don't want to be seen as gay...

Right now, it felt good. Being with Jack, his touch, his lips...

Stop.

I hate you, Barakat.