Slipping away

Hospital Hatred

The doctor came out of a room and called out grandma's name. We followed her into a small room and I sat down in an uncomfortable chair. "So Cordelia, unfortunately we have some bad news." Dr Malone said. Grandma had spaced out and had tears in her eyes. "What did you find." I asked gripping onto grandmas hand tightly.
"It looks like your grandmother has Alzheimer's disease Jules." Dr Malone is a kind lady. She knows her stuff and is super caring. But the moment she said that, even in her gentle, sweet voice, I wanted to hate her. I hate hospitals. I have ever since five years ago. The sickening smell of sanitary, the plain white walls that they try to make look better with ugly paintings. The boring waiting rooms with old magazines. It seems every time I come here I get bad news. Not good news that they could save or help my family. I get the news that they're going to die, that they are sick, that they cannot cope any longer. As I said, I HATE hospitals. "What does that mean?" I asked knowing but I wanted her to say it, for reality to punch me in the face not just slap me. "Well dear, Alzheimer's is the most common form of dementia. It slowly affects the brains memory, ability to do normal everyday life things and thinking skills. Your grandmother is in the early stages of this. Her symptoms show more memory loss than usual for her age, has trouble finding the words that she wants to use, she has little movement problems and sense of smell issues. These symptoms do not interfere with her everyday living though, yet. When her case becomes more severe is when we really need to worry." I remember reading somewhere that Alzheimer's disease comes just after heart disease and cancer when it comes to death in elderly people. There is no cure. All I could do was just look down at our joined hands, trying to swallow the thick lump that has lodged it's way into my throat. I felt warm, silent tears run slowly down my face and tasted the saltiness of the liquid. "I'm sorry  Jules." She says quietly putting her hand on my shoulder. Dr Malone was Henry's doctor too. She knows me quite well from the days and nights that I spent here with him.
"I want to go home." Grandma broke the silence. She looked at me tears in her eyes. I knew that she was trying to be strong for me but I could see that she was hurting. "Ok grandma let's go, thank you Dr Malone. For everything." She nodded towards me and smiled sadly. I linked arms with grandma and held her steadily. We said goodbye to the nurses on the way out, their faces had too become familiar. We got into the car and sat silently for about a minute until grandma started the engine. "Do you want to go get lunch?" I asked "We could go to that little cafe that you like." She looked at me and had a small apologetic smile on her face. "No thanks Jules, I'm not hungry." I wasn't either. The news that we had just got and the memories that came flooding back to me washed away my appetite. I just wanted to cheer her up, that's all.

~Authors note~
Sorry that this chapter wasn't very long or interesting but they will get better. Love,
~L