Shift

Cole

"-can we trust her?"

Rowan's voice filters through my sleep. The memories of the night before come back to me, slipping through my dreams. My chest aches. I don't want to move. My eyes stay shut, and I try and force myself back to sleep.

"I think so," Erin says. She's sitting to my right. Standing? I can't tell.

"Think?" Rowan questions. He's to my left.

How can he trust me if I can't trust myself to do what needs to be done?

"Her dreams are hard to see through," Erin replies. There's a whisper of an accent, one I didn't notice the night before. Had she been hiding it? "There is so much raw emotion, so much pain. But I think we can. She has a strong soul."

Sleep slips away from my grasp.

I'm still in my dress, though my thin tiara has been removed. Someone took off my shoes as well. How did I get here? I remember Erin guiding me to my room, almost carrying me when I was too weak to walk myself, but everything after that is blank.

A strong soul, huh? It doesn't feel that way to me. I had the perfect opportunity, and I let it go to waste. I could have avenged my sister, protected that woman. Saved her child. I let them die. Is that what someone with a strong soul does?

"She stood up to you," Alcander says. "First time, she faced you head on. That takes something that a lot of people don't have."

"She also does not have knowledge of who he is," Erin replies slowly.

A silence settles over them. I don't know everything about Rowan. What's new? Before yesterday, I didn't even know his name. I hadn't known about the Circle, I had never met Erin or Alcander, and I hadn't returned to the streets I can't bear to walk. I just joined their ranks. They don't know all of my secrets. Why should I know all of theirs'?

"It wouldn't matter," Alcander finally says. "She's defiant, resilient. Authority doesn't bother her."

"It might make her resent you," Erin says.

"Or it might make her more loyal to the cause," Alcander retorts.

"It is a risk that we will have to take," Rowan says slowly. "We need her."

Secrets.

A spark goes off in my mind.

What about my secrets.

Where is my bag?

Where is the book?

I let out a gasp, ruining my deception. The conversation around me freezes. I get up, trying to mimic the sloth-like movements of someone who has just awoken, but I can't stop the panic in my chest from bleeding through. I've protected that book for three years, keeping it for my eyes only. I need to know that it's safe. It has to be safe.

I survey the room, seeing if it has been placed here. The panic slows as I catch a glimpse of it in a corner of the room. I'm up before I even realize I'm moving. I tear open the bag, throwing the old clothes to the side. My fingers brush against the linen cloth holding the book, hovering there for a few, delicate moments before I pick it up and hold it to my chest. No one has tampered with it. It's safe.

Slowly, I look up. Rowan stares directly at me, analyzing every move I make. Erin is sitting in a chair beside the bed. She averts her eyes when I look at her. She's dressed in the same deep cream as the night before, though the dress isn't as finely made. Alcander, too, is wearing the same colors as the night before, a dark gray. His face is blank, but I can see the pity hovering just below the surface.