Exotica

Intro

Due to Wattpad's updated guidelines some chapters from this story will remain unpublished, I'm hoping that by using context clues the storyline still makes sense to anyone reading, thank you 🤍🩷
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January 2017

♡ Amini Howard ♡

The warm Florida breeze blew against my exposed skin as I approached the doorstep of my mother's home.

I take a deep breath, holding it in before releasing it into the air. I was nervous as to what was awaiting on the other side of this door. I know my mother and I know how hard she can be despite the fact that I am twenty three years old.

Age means nothing to her, as long as you are her child she will see you as only that. I guess most mothers are like that or maybe just mine.

I softly knock on the door and wait for the door to open. Once it does, my younger sister Almasi pokes her head out with a smile on her face. A smile that faded when my mother spoke her mind.

"Two years Amini, two long years." I sigh and run my fingers through my dark hair.

"I know mama, I'm sorry." It was never my intentions to disappoint my mother. Every child has that weight on their shoulders, trying their best to live up to their parents expectations only to let them down in the long run. The ones who actually succeed at their parents expectations are unhappy, not realizing that they're living their parents dreams rather than their own.

I close the door behind me and follow the two of them into the living room. Once the three of us are seated an awkward silence falls upon us, one that was normal unfortunately but still uncomfortable.

"When are you going to turn your life around Amini? You're not even twenty five and have been through more than people have my age. You have the opportunity to have a good life yet you choose not to." I glance across the room at my mother who had a concerned look on her face which was nothing new. She was like this every time I came home for a visit.

"You let that boy ruin the best parts of you only for the two of you to not work out."

"He didn't ruin me mama, he ruined the ideal image you had of me. One that wasn't going to happen whether he was in my life or not, you can't force me to live out your dreams because you never got the chance to do it. I'm my own person not some replica of you."

"You take your clothes off in front of dirty men every night for a living. Men who don't care about you, they only care about your body. You're degrading yourself all because you are hurt. I've tried reaching out to you plenty of times and so has your father. When are you going to change your ways?" I sit up in my seat, resting the palms of my hands on my knees. I look her directly in the eyes as a smirk begins to spread across my mouth.

"The day you accept the fact that I'm like this because of you. The day you own up the the lies you've kept in your closet. All the secrets you kept from us. The day you air out all your dirty laundry will be the day I stop." I hated when our conversations led to this, I didn't like upsetting my mother and I also don't like the fact that she's been keeping this secret for ten years. Whenever I even attempt to bring it up she shuts me out or calls me a liar when its actually the other way around.

She's the one deceiving us all, not me.

When she doesn't respond to me I take that as a sign that its time for me to leave. I clear my throat and wipe the few tears that decided to shed in the spur of the moment before standing to my feet. I pull the ends of my skirt down then run my hands down my shirt. Knocking out any wrinkles that developed in the short time of me sitting.